Do Not Ask Siri About Acid.

Ruby: Good morning, this is Ruby.

Ginger: Hey, what do you know about peyote?

Ruby: I know how to spell it.

Ginger: Yeah, I got that part. I need more information than just that.

Ruby: Ginger, I’m at work.

Ginger: …and?

Ruby: What do you mean “…and?”

Ginger: Well, I’m at work, too.

Ruby: I’m sorry; I think we’re currently being separated by the same language.

Ginger: I’m sorry; I thought we were just telling each other where we are.

Ruby: Okay, first of all, why are you asking about peyote?

Ginger: You don’t watch Longmire, clearly.

Ruby: Clearly.

Ginger: I don’t know why you don’t watch it. It’s the most calming TV show about murder in Wyoming there is.

Ruby: You’re not answering the initial question.

Ginger: I don’t want to spoil anything.

Ruby: Ginger…we have established the fact I don’t watch the show.

Ginger: You might some day. I might convince you.

Ruby: When was the last time you convinced me to watch a—don’t answer that.

Ginger: Agents of SHIELD, Surviving Jack, Firefly

Ruby: Yeah, okay, I get it. You convince me to sit through TV shows I wouldn’t ordinarily watch.

Ginger: I even got you to watch most of an episode of Supernatural.

Ruby: I. Get. It.

Ginger: So you really don’t know anything else about peyote?

Ruby: No, Ginger. I don’t.

Ginger: I’ve never had to research it before. I’ve never had any desire to research hallucinogenic drugs.

Ruby: I can’t believe I have to say this, but, Ginger – please do not research peyote or any hallucinogenic drugs from your work computer.

Ginger: Duh. That’s not something you need to tell me.

Ruby: I am grateful you have some sense.

Ginger: Hey, can I come over after work today?

Ruby: You’re going to research peyote from my computer at home, aren’t you?

Ginger: Are you kidding? I don’t want to use my own computer. Have you any idea what kind of crazy things I’ve looked up on the internet this week alone? I watched three episodes of Breaking Bad, got a little curious, went to the internet and started hearing clicking noises on my phone! The government has me on a very short leash.

Ruby: Well, at least your paranoid conspiracy theories don’t affect your internet browsing on my computer.

Ginger: I try to spread it out among friends.

Ruby: Gee. Thanks.

Ginger: You’re welcome.

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