Seven Dollar Babysitter (You Get What You Pay For)

Ruby: Ginger. Wake up.

Ginger: I’mawa…..what?

Ruby: Ginger, did you know you fell asleep on my couch?

Ginger: I have serious allergies!

Ruby: You took Benadryl, didn’t you?

Ginger: I think you took Drylaben. You seem fozier than usual.

Ruby: Fuzzier?

Ginger: Fozier. It’s a word. I used it in a game against my mother.

Ruby: Were you on “Drylaben” at the time?

Ginger: I looked it up on…the…website…with the words…


Ginger: That…sounds like it could be right… I don’t think I used it right

Ruby: Regardless, you can’t sleep on my couch tonight. I’ll drive you home.

Ginger: NO! We can’t go inside-out!

Ruby: Try that again?

Ginger: We can’t…go…where the trees are.

Ruby: Why not?

Ginger: They’re trying to kill me. Very slowly. And through my eyeballs and nasal passages. Which is why it’s slow.

Ruby: You have seasonal allergies. It will pass.

Ginger: I’m not so sure. I watched that movie with Mark Wahlberg and John Leguizamo.

Ruby: …please try that again or explain how you met Mark Wahlberg and John Leguizamo and convinced them to watch a movie with you.

Ginger: Wouldn’t that be cool?

Ruby: What movie would that be?

Ginger: I don’t know…I’d have to know what kind of movies they both like and then I would try to find something that would appeal to them both. I bet it would be a comedy. They’ve both done comedies. D’you think they’ve seen Airplane! at all? That movie is FUNNY.

Ruby: What movie are you talking about?

Ginger: You’ve never seen Airplane!?!

Ruby: …I’m trying to remember you took Benadryl and that is affecting your normally squirrel-like attention functions. But it’s really hard to not reach over and Gibbs-slap you right now.

Ginger: Man, I love Mark Harmon…

Ruby: Hey, Ginger?

Ginger: Yeah, Rubes?

Ruby: Out of curiosity, can you connect Mark Wahlberg to, oh, I don’t know, John Leguizamo in one movie or less?

Ginger: The Happening.

Ruby: Thank you.

Ginger: Do I get a prize?

Ruby: Yes! I’m going to drive you home!

Ginger: YAY!! You’re the bestest, Ruby!!


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