Weekends Should Be Themed

Ginger: Hey, Ruby.

Ruby: You seem chipper. What’s up?

Ginger: I watched movies all weekend long.

Ruby: …did you get here via montage?

Ginger: Maybe.

Ruby: Did you hear any traveling music in your head as you made your way over here?

Ginger: No.

Ruby: …did you sing any traveling music as you made your way over here?

Ginger: I…might have…? Does it matter?

Ruby: You do this all the time…you watch movies, then you’re in movie-land in your head for several…how many movies? What was your theme?

Ginger: Four. And I didn’t have a theme.

Ruby: Four?

Ginger: Four.

Ruby: Total?

Ginger: …a day…

Ruby: So you watched eight movies.

Ginger: Plus three on Friday.

Ruby: …only three on Friday?

Ginger: I fell asleep at the end of the third. I missed the end credits.

Ruby: So, you watched eleven movies in three days.

Ginger: Yes. Isn’t that awesome?

Ruby: This is why you’re happy.

Ginger: I’d be happier if I watched twelve movies in three days. That would be a serious accomplishment.

Ruby: That would be serious.

Ginger: That’s not…really…what I said.

Ruby: I used Ginger Word Math.

Ginger: Oh. That’s awesome! I knew it would pick up!

Ruby: So, honestly, now, what was your theme? You always have a theme when you spend all weekend watching movies.

Ginger: I didn’t have a theme.

Ruby: You always have a theme.

Ginger: I didn’t. Not this time.

Ruby: Tell me what movies you watched.

Ginger: All at once, or in order or…?

Ruby: I want you to just tell me what movies you watched.

Ginger: So you can try to pick out the theme?

Ruby: Just…tell me what you watched.

Ginger: 22 Jump Street…and then 21 Jump Street…and then White House Down. Technically, I probably should have watched 21, then White House Down, then 22 Jump Street

Ruby: I’m already noticing a theme.

Ginger: But then I zig when you think I should have Channing Tatumed…

Ruby: Uh-huh.

Ginger: So, Saturday, I watched The Village, John Carter, Battleship and The Grand Seduction.

Ruby: What’s The Grand Seduction?

Ginger: It’s a new movie. It was pretty good. Very sweet, very cute, very adorable.

Ruby: Okay. Good to hear. And what did you watch yesterday?

Ginger: Girl Most Likely, The American President, Mars Attacks! and Batman Returns.

Ruby: I just looked up Grand Seduction…you had a theme on Saturday. It was Taylor Kitsch.

Ginger: But it wasn’t a weekend-long theme and he wasn’t in The Village. Brendan Gleeson was. So. There.

Ruby: And Sunday?

Ginger: I might have watched a few Annette Bening movies. And then switched to Danny DeVito. Because I ran out of Annette Bening movies.

Ruby: Yeah, that makes sense.

Ginger: It does?

Ruby: No. But you did have themes all weekend.

Ginger: But I didn’t have a theme.

Ruby: Because that’s what matters.

Ginger: Yeah. I know. So what did you do all weekend?

Ruby: Fly and I re-organized the living room to accommodate his things and my things in one living space.

Ginger: …I still feel like maybe I accomplished more.

Ruby: I would expect nothing less. Except you’re wrong.

Ginger: So, my weekend theme was “Movies.” Yours was “Boring.”

Ruby: More like yours was “Life On Screen,” mine was “Actual Life.”

Ginger: Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe…

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