You Can’t Say She Wasn’t Warned.

Ginger: RUBY!!!

Ruby: Yes?

Ginger: I HAVE WHIPLASH, RUBY!

Ruby: Do you?

Ginger: DO YOU KNOW WHY I HAVE WHIPLASH, RUBY?!

Ruby: I am sure I cannot possibly guess such a thing.

Ginger: TRY.

Ruby: Is it possible you ignored a warning I issued earlier this week?

Ginger: YOU DIDN’T WARN ME YOU WOULD MESS WITH MY MOVIE COLLECTION!

Ruby: How else will you learn?!

Ginger: IT DOESN’T COUNT IF I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M LEARNING!!!

Ruby: Don’t Disappear For Days On End And Then Blithely Dismiss Those Who Are Concerned For Your Well-Being!!!!!

Ginger: THAT’S TOO LONG OF A MESSAGE FOR ME TO GET VIA WHIPLASH!!!!!

Ruby: I SPELLED IT OUT WITH YOUR MOVIE COLLECTION!!!!

Ginger: HOW?!

Ruby: The first letter of each movie title of the movies that were placed in the traditional manner – that is, read top to bottom with your head tilted to the right – spelled out that exact sentence. You have a lot of movies.

Ginger: Wow. That’s good.

Ruby: Thank you. Fly helped. When he wasn’t twitching.

Ginger: Yeah, your husband should work on that whole OCD thing.

Ruby: He calls it CDO. It’s OCD, but alphabetical.

Ginger: So, why did you put every other DVD upside down, so I had to read them bottom to top with my head tilted left?

Ruby: So you would actually understand I was punishing you.

Ginger: I flip-flopped my head back and forth and gave myself whiplash!

Ruby: See? Punished.

Ginger: Except your plan backfired.

Ruby: How?

Ginger: I now get to spend my entire weekend re-organizing my movie collection.

Ruby: Fly offered to take that task from you as his contribution to the whole punishment thing.

Ginger: He contributed already – he helped you rearrange the movies in the first place!

Ruby: Yes, but this time he’s punishing you for putting me into a place where I had to punish both of you – admittedly, punishing him was an unavoidable side effect of punishing you – by rearranging the movies in the first place.

Ginger: That explains that, then…

Ruby: Explains what?

Ginger: Why he came over to my place and asked me to lend him a movie and then told me it was all you and said I should come confront you while he remained in my living room with a label-maker.

Ruby: …yeah. That does explain that. What are you doing?

Ginger: Texting your husband. I want the movies organized alphabetically by director’s last name, then in chronological order of release date.

Ruby: But…I wanted to see my husband tonight…

Ginger: Too bad. Punishment backfired. Again. Ooh! He wrote back – he says, “Too late. Already organizing by run time. Next time, don’t upset the missus.”

Ruby: *sigh* What do you want to do tonight? It seems my husband made other plans.

Ginger: Technically, he thinks he’s avenging you.

Ruby: True. Does this mean I win?

Ginger: I guess. But only until I can convince Nathan Fillion that he loves me and wants to marry me and avenge my wrath for me.

Ruby: I think I can live with that.

Ginger: Because you know that if Nathan Fillion marries me, I’ll be so blissfully happy I’ll never feel wrath again?

Ruby: Because you have such a short attention span that in five minutes you’ll forget you thought you wanted to have revenge at all.

Ginger: Hey, look what I just learned! There’s a Dirty Dancing Festival held annually in Lake Lure, North Carolina! Can we go? Can we?!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s