Zom-bee

Ruby: Hello, Ginger.

Ginger: Ruby!!! Ruby!!! Where are you?!

Ruby: Calm down – I’m in New York.

Ginger: Why are you in New York?

Ruby: I’m visiting family, Ginger. I told you this. Last week.

Ginger: Your family’s not in New York. It’s in Kansas.

Ruby: That’s Fly’s family, Ginger. I have my own family, remember?

Ginger: Oh yeah. I thought they lived in northern Illinois somewhere.

Ruby: That’s your family…

Ginger: That does explain some things.

Ruby: Why are you calling me?

Ginger: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. RUBY! HELP!

Ruby: Stop screaming – what’s wrong?

Ginger: There’s a zom-bee in my kitchen.

Ruby: There’s…a zombie…in your kitchen?

Ginger: Not a zombie, Ruby. Don’t be ridiculous. Zombies are not attracted to my kitchen.

Ruby: True, you’d have to have some sort of food or brains in a kitchen to attract them. You have neither.

Ginger: Placing my indignation at your unfairly truthful comment aside, I’m asking you to focus on my words. There’s a zom-bee in my kitchen.

Ruby: A zom-bee.

Ginger: Yes. An undead bee is out for revenge. It’s very mad at me and it’s undead and it’s going to come after me – I just know it!!!

Ruby: A zom-bee.

Ginger: Yes. I sprayed it with Windex and it fell to the floor, but I couldn’t find it and this morning it was buzzing angrily all around my light fixture.

Ruby: Windex? Really?

Ginger: It was high up on the wall.

Ruby: Where are you now?

Ginger: The office. I’m not staying anywhere for long, though. The zom-bee may have my smell in its horrific zom-bee memory and is tracking me.

Ruby: Were you hanging around the light fixture?

Ginger: What? No. Why?

Ruby: You said it was buzzing angrily around the light fixture.

Ginger: It was. The light fixture must have brought it back from the dead!

Ruby: Right…

Ginger: If you were here, you would totally understand. Because you’d see it.

Ruby: Can’t you take a picture and send that to me? I’d understand then.

Ginger: Really?

Ruby: No. But seriously, just go get some Raid or something.

Ginger: When you get back in town, if I’ve been killed by a vengeful zom-bee, I’m going to haunt you.

Ruby: Wouldn’t a zom-bee crave bee brains, not your human brains?

Ginger: Zom-bees don’t follow zombie rules. A zom-bee comes after me for revenge. Ordinary zombies don’t care about revenge. They just want brains.

Ruby: I’m hanging up.

Ginger: You’re so cruel!

Ruby: Do you hear that…?

Ginger: What?

Ruby: That buzzing noise…it’s not…I think it’s coming through the phone…is the zom-bee behind you?

Ginger: NO!!

Ruby: See, Ginger? That is cruel. I’m very nice to you.

Ginger: …just make it go away…

Ruby: Get some Raid. Leave the Windex for the windows.

Ginger: Come home soon.

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