How Does Math Work Again?

Ginger: That movie was so fun!

Ruby: No argument here – I think that was the first James Gunn movie you dragged me to that I didn’t cringe through the whole thing.

Ginger: I know, right? So fun!

Survey Lady: Excuse me, ladies, can I get your opinion for a survey on the movie you just watched?

Ginger: Sure!

Ruby: Yeah, sure.

Survey Lady: Great. To start, I just need your ages.

Ginger: I’m thirty-five.

Ruby: And I’m…wait, what?

Ginger: What?

Survey Lady: Sorry?

Ruby: You’re not thirty-five.

Ginger: Women lie about their ages all the time. Just put me down for thirty-five.

Survey Lady: Actually, it will compromise the integrity of the survey if I don’t put down the correct age.

Ruby: Women do not round up when they lie about their ages. You’re not thirty-five!

Ginger: Well, she put me on the spot and I couldn’t stand here and try to remember how old I am!

Ruby: You don’t remember how old you are?

Survey Lady: Y’know, I can just put you down in an age range, if that helps…

Ginger: Who can remember unimportant things like that? I’m old enough to drink, but not old enough to retire. I’m…in the middle somewhere. Hence, thirty-five.

Survey Lady: I know how old I am, so, if you remember what year you graduated high school, I could work from that…

Ruby: That’s insane – Ginger, everyone knows how old they are!

Ginger: Not people with amnesia! Maybe I have amnesia!

Survey Lady: Or you could just tell me what year you were born in and I could do the math myself…

Ruby: You don’t have amnesia. You do know how old you are. You’re just being difficult!

Ginger: You won’t even give an age! You’re arguing with me instead of letting this woman do her job!

Survey Lady: You look like you could be in your twenties, so…I mean…if you’re in your late twenties, I could go with that…

Ruby: I’m trying to help her do her job – you’re the one not giving correct answers! When she asks you how you rate the movie, will you say “apple” and insist you couldn’t think of the right word so you just made something up?

Ginger: Well, I wasn’t going to, but now you’ve gone and talked me into it!

Survey Lady: Y’know what? I don’t think this is the right survey for you…I’m just going to…um…Sir? Would you and your friend like to take a survey on the movie you just saw?

Ruby: See? You scared her off! Now we can’t take the survey at all!

Ginger: That’s not really my fault, is it? I just – is she gone?

Ruby: Yeah.

Ginger: It gets easier every time…

Ruby: I know, right? It helps when you drop such obvious hints that you don’t want to take the surveys in the first place.

Ginger: I always feel guilty saying ‘No, I don’t want to take a survey.’ And they always try to talk me into it when I do say it.

Ruby: Just out of curiosity, you do know how old you are, right?

Ginger: I know I’m not thirty-five, that’s for sure.

Ruby: …that’s not really an answer, Ginger.

Ginger: I know.

Ruby: …wait, you know that’s not really an answer, or you know how old you are?

Ginger: Hey, look! They’re giving out buttons of the talking raccoon!!

Ruby: Ginger!

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