A LOT.

Ginger: Hey, Ruby, remember way back when you told me you read all the Sookie Stackhouse novels?

Ruby: You mean, like, two years ago?

Ginger: Sure, that sounds right.

Ruby: Okay. Yes, I remember.

Ginger: I started watching True Blood.

Ruby: …do I have to pull out the emails I wrote to you about what was going on in the novels?

Ginger: No. I already found them in my email archives.

Ruby: Okay, then?

Ginger: We talk about vampires…a lot.

Ruby: That doesn’t really surprise me.

Ginger: Really?

Ruby: Well, yeah, they’re common in popular culture and everyone seems to have an opinion on them and which version is the best or dumbest. We do talk about popular culture items from time to time, you know.

Ginger: So, then, it’s okay that our combined emails that list the word ‘vampire’ in them total 2,653 pages?

Ruby: …wait, what?

Ginger: I did a search in my email archive for the word ‘vampire.’ Then I copied the contents of those emails into a document. I read through them briefly, to make sure it was an actual conversation about vampires – not just referring to someone on the train as a vampire of fun or something. And the document totaled 2,653 pages. After I removed to, from, and subject lines. I kept the dates, though. I’m not sure why…

Ruby: 2,653 pages? Really?

Ginger: Yes.

Ruby: I thought it would have been more…

Ginger: I only went back two years.

Ruby: Well, that explains it then.

Ginger: Yeah.

Ruby: Ginger?

Ginger: Yeah, Ruby?

Ruby: It wasn’t just Sookie Stackhouse, was it?

Ginger: Well…no. But only because I hadn’t seen True Blood or read the Sookie Stackhouse novels yet. Most of my contributions were about Dracula, Angel or Spike. Or Constantine, but we both talked about him.

Ruby: Well, how could we not?

Ginger: Exactly.

Ruby: …maybe we should find a new popular culture topic for a while.

Ginger: But I just started watching True Blood!!

Ruby: Yeah, you’re right. We’re not done with vampires yet.

Ginger: I’ll race you to the end of Sunshine this weekend. Loser has to buy the box of cinnamon rolls for the winner?

Ruby: You’re on! But only because I know you couldn’t have already started, since you’re in True Blood binge-mode.

Ginger: …good point. Can we start the race next weekend? I think I still have three more seasons left and I think I can squeeze them in now if I do nothing else until Monday morning…

Ruby: I’m already on page two! No backsies!

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