RIP, Future Ginger…

Ginger: RooooOOOOooOooOooooobeeeeEEEEeeeEEeeEe…

Ruby: Ginger, you’re not a ghost.

Ginger: How do you know?

Ruby: If I were to, say, attempt to poke a ghost, my finger would go right through her arm. But if I attempt to poke you…

Ginger: OW!

Ruby: See? You’re solid matter. Therefore, a ghost you’re not. Now put the sheet back in the closet.

Ginger: But you saw the obit! Ginger Blaze died!

Ruby: No, Ginger Blaize died. Different spelling of the last name.

Ginger: Typos happen all the time, Rubes. Maybe I was murdered! That would explain why I’m still here…

Ruby: No, you’re still here because you refuse to go home.

Ginger: Exactly, Ruby. Because I have unfinished business. A murderer to see behind bars.

Ruby: Because you want brownies and I’ve already told you that I’m not making brownies just because you Googled yourself and found an obituary for a 70 year old woman who shares your nickname.

Ginger: Maybe it’s an obituary from the future, Ruby. And it’s a sign that I need to start finding out who my murderer is now – before they kill me in 40 years!

Ruby: Are you suggesting that it’ll take you 40 years to find out how you died of old age?

Ginger: 70 is not that old, Ruby. 70 is the new 30.

Ruby: Does that mean 30 is the new 5?

Ginger: Practically. Anyway, this ‘old age’ thing is probably a ruse – I just know I was murdered!

Ruby: I’m thinking of murdering you – does that get me on the suspect list?

Ginger: No, you think about it, but you’d never actually go through with it. I make your life too exciting – you’d miss me.

Ruby: So who is on your suspect list?

Ginger: My brother. He’ll get all my money. And my DVD’s. And my Wii U.

Ruby: And you think that in 40 years, he’ll suddenly snap and kill you for your 40 year old game system and movie collection?

Ginger: It’s a working theory…

Ruby: And you think that in 40 years, he won’t already have his own impressive movie collection and a game system all his own?

Ginger: Mine has stickers on it, Ruby. It makes a BIG difference.

Ruby: Is this the same brother who has already surpassed you in DVD collection and has started his own BluRay collection – which you have only just started?

Ginger: Yes, that’s him. Sneaky of him, don’t you think? Trying to throw us off track like that.

Ruby: Yeah…are you going to accuse him to his face on Thanksgiving? Cause, I really want to see his face when you do that. Actually, I want to hear how hard he laughs…

Ginger: I need to find out how he’ll murder me first. I have to be subtle in my questioning…

Ruby: Oh, please, please, let me be there when you do that! I can’t wait to see you be subtle!

Ginger: I’ll need a witness, in any case. You’re on. I can wait until Thanksgiving. Unless it’s a gradual poisoning process and Thanksgiving is chock-full of the poison…

Ruby: He wouldn’t murder everyone, though, so I think you can consider Thanksgiving as a neutral zone.

Ginger: I just won’t let him get me anything to drink! He’ll probably put the poison in there!

Ruby: Have you considered the idea that maybe it’s your actions at Thanksgiving that put the idea of murdering you in his brain?

Ginger: That’s why I’ll be subtle, Ruby…

Ruby: This may be the best Thanksgiving ever.

Ginger: And the most future crime-solvingest!

Ruby: I only wish Thanksgiving was closer…


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