Ruby: Hello, Ginger.
Ginger: Do you want to play a game?
Ruby: As long as it’s not Guess Who.
Ginger: You know I only play that with my sister.
Ruby: And you cheat.
Ginger: I do not! You lie!
Ruby: You look at her card before you give it to her – if you give it to her at all.
Ginger: That’s allowed.
Ruby: No. No, it really isn’t.
Ginger: I’ll check the rules later.
Ruby: You cheat all the time.
Ginger: That’s not…entirely…true.
Ruby: Remember that time we were playing Solarquest?
Ginger: You mean “Space Monopoly?”
Ruby: That’s not what the game is called, Ginger.
Ginger: Says you.
Ruby: And the game creators.
Ginger: Anyway, what’s your point?
Ruby: Tom got up to go to the bathroom and you started handing out his cards.
Ginger: As I recall, you took one of them, too.
Ruby: …the game was going on a bit long…
Ginger: So, then, it wasn’t cheating. It was just…hurrying along the inevitable. We all knew you would win eventually.
Ruby: That’s not the point! They were his cards that he had won in the course of the game!
Ginger: That game was going on so long…
Ruby: And you cheated.
Ginger: And you didn’t stop me. All it takes for evil to succeed in this world is for good men to do nothing.
Ruby: I gave the cards back!
Ginger: Yeah, after, like, four more turns. When you were winning without his cards.
Ruby: Moving on. You cheat in other games, too.
Ginger: Name one!
Ruby: Chess. Pawns cannot move diagonally unless they are taking another pawn.
Ginger: Okay, first? That wasn’t me. That was my brother. Second? There was an invisible enemy that needed to be removed.
Ruby: Invisible enemies show up a lot in chess?
Ginger: Yes. Especially when you play as the sun is setting and you refuse to get up to turn on a light because you have some delusional idea that your opponent – who is a sweet and loving sister and a victim of malicious lies about her ability to follow illogical rules – will take your queen or rook or bishop or all three while your back is turned.
Ruby: …I always wondered why your sister agreed to play chess against you in the dark.
Ginger: Anyway, I don’t cheat in chess. I just let the inevitable happen.
Ruby: Such as your sister’s paranoia about your cheating overwhelm her desire to see what pieces you’re removing illegally from the board?
Ginger: There is a reason to maintain a reputation.
Ruby: You cheat at chess. You cheat at Guess Who. You cheat at Solarquest. I’m pretty sure you cheat at Battleship…
Ginger: Boats don’t stay in one place in real life, Ruby. They drift all the time. Almost imperceptibly, sometimes.
Ruby: …that confirms that. Is there any game in which you don’t cheat?
Ruby: …true. I’ve never seen you cheat in Bananagrams.
Ginger: That’s because it’s the only game I don’t need to cheat.
Ruby: Is that the game you wanted to play?
Ginger: Well, it wasn’t, but since you brought it up…and you seem to be so negative on every other game in the world…
Ruby: What did you want to play?
Ruby: Were you planning on cheating?
Ruby: Were you open to the opportunity of cheating?
Ginger: …do you want me to bring it over tonight when I drop by unexpectedly for dinner or not?
Ruby: ………………………………………………………………………yes. But only if we team up against Fly. He’s really very good at that game…
Ginger: Deal. After each round, sip your water glass in your left hand. I’ll handle the rest.