My Presentation Is Titled “Try Not. Do.”

Ginger: I’m scared, Ruby.

Ruby: Is that why you’re hiding under my dining room table?

Ginger: No, I dropped a fry and didn’t want to leave a mess.

Ruby: So, what are you scared of?

Ginger: I’m a little scared of me…

Ruby: There’s a club forming with that as its exact premise.

Ginger: There’s a club forming with the premise “I’m a little scared of me?”

Ruby: No, there’s a club forming with the premise “I’m a little scared of Ginger.” But enough about my hobbies, why are you scared of yourself?

Ginger: I accidentally nudged my boss’s boss’s boss’s….one, two, three… boss’s boss’s presentation in a direction I never knew it could go.

Ruby: Explain?

Ginger: I was asked to help pull together a presentation he needs to give at a seminar next week and managed to…sneak in references to sci-fi and fantasy on every slide in the presentation.

Ruby: …explain?

Ginger: He sort of approved them all…I’m not sure he knew what they were, but he really liked the wording…

Ruby: …explain.

Ginger: One slide spells “TARDIS,” if you just read the first letters of each bulleted point. Another lists the goals of future endeavors for the company and might sound eerily similar to the opening monologue from Star Trek. A third recommends to break boundaries and use the Force within them to do so.

Ruby: Interesting. How did you slip Firefly in there?

Ginger: I used an actual quote – “If wishes were horses, we’d all be eating steak.” He really liked that one…

Ruby: So, basically, you did his homework for him and then subconsciously made all your fellow nerds in the room love him?

Ginger: …one slide only says “Winter Is Coming.” How does he not know what that’s from?

Ruby: I’ll give you points if you can prove you included vampires.

Ginger: Ruby. Please. It’s like you don’t know me at all.

Ruby: I need you to say it out loud.

Ginger: Slide 9, fourth bullet point – “If you don’t invite them into your home, they cannot enter and cause undue damage.” He thinks he’s talking about negative thoughts and behaviors. I wrote it about vampires.

Ruby: So, how does all of this scare you?

Ginger: If I had more access to these types of presentations, I could rule the world.

Ruby: I guess it’s good for the rest of us that your attitude holds you back, huh?

Ginger: Probably. He did say I shouldn’t refer to the employees within the company as “minions,” “underlings,” “pets,” or “emergency fodder.” And he seemed really confused as to why I would use that last one as an option…

Ruby: I wasn’t going to ask.

Ginger: Because you knew I was talking about the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse?

Ruby: …yes.

Ginger: Did you really start a club under the premise “I’m a little scared of Ginger?”

Ruby: Well…

Ginger: …explain.


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