The Internet, Not The World Wide Web.

Harriet: Ginger, can I ask you for some help?

Ginger: Sure, let me just save this really quick.

Harriet: I’m sure it’ll only take you about ten seconds.

Ginger: Okay, just two seconds…

Harriet: I mean, I thought it was simple, but maybe I’m just not in the right window, you know?

Ginger: …right window?


A Short Time Later…


Ruby: Hello, this is Ruby…

Ginger: I need you to explain the internet to me.

Ruby: Again? I thought we covered this already.

Ginger: Use smaller words. Like I’m a child.

Ruby: Okay. There’s this magical world that uses a very old language in a new way…

Ginger: Does the magical world have unicorns?

Ruby: …yes. And the unicorns are invisible and sit quietly inside your computer.

Ginger: What do they do while they sit there quietly?

Ruby: Mostly, they play Bananagrams. Until you use the magic device we call a “mouse” to click on the right portal to that magical world – the internet.

Ginger: Slow down, I’m still typing “Bananagrams.”

Ruby: When you click a button on the mouse – pointing to either the blue internet e or the Google Chrome circle – the magical unicorns inside your computer sit up and telepathically hear that your computer mouse says to them, ‘Hey, let’s visit the internet!’

Ginger: Okay…hang on…good. Continue?

Ruby: Then you type what website you want and the unicorns read the address and fly with an invisible leash from your computer to the internet website and, using magic, send back pictures of the internet website to your computer.

Ginger: This makes so much sense…

Ruby: But sometimes, invisible dragons block the unicorns and their leashes. And sometimes, a spelling error in the website address confuses the unicorns…

Ginger: They should spend more time playing Bananagrams.

Ruby: I know. So, why are we explaining this?

Ginger: Because when I tried to explain that Internet Explorer is not the only internet browser option available, I was informed I was exasperating and clearly misinformed.

Ruby: …yeah, you’re going to have to start over.

Ginger: How do you feel about flashbacks?

Ruby: I feel they work in fiction. Sometimes.

Ginger: …that doesn’t answer my question.

Ruby: Just tell me what happened.

Ginger: Okay, so, you pretend you’re me and I’ll pretend I’m Harriet in this story.

Ruby: Fine. Just hurry up, I have a meeting I need to get to soon.

Ginger: Hey, do you know how to sign up for our benefits?

Ruby: Um…I’m you, right? So, my answer is probably “we get benefits?”

Ginger: Ha, ha. That website we have to go to – do you know how to get there?

Ruby: Sure. You click on some link.

Ginger: Right, well, I tried that, but the internet said it was blocked. I had to use Google Chrome instead of the internet.

Ruby: …wait, what?

Ginger: No, your line is “You know that Google Chrome is still the internet, right?”

Ruby: Seriously?

Ginger: And then my line is “No, it’s Google Chrome. The internet is the blue ‘e’ on the screen there.”

Ruby: Oh…wow…

Ginger: Now, compare this to another program. The flashback script calls for Word vs. Notepad, but it’s really up to you. I mean, you haven’t been sticking to the script at all.

Ruby: Word and Notepad?

Ginger: Yes, because you can write a paragraph in both programs, but they’re different programs.

Ruby: Did that help?

Ginger: I was informed that I had gone off topic because she was talking about THE INTERNET.

Ruby: Well, clearly.

Ginger: And then Sonya came over and asked why I was gripping the desk so tightly. So I explained to her.

Ruby: Okay…?

Ginger: And she informed me that she had the same problem with the internet blocking the website, so we had to use Google Chrome and not the internet to get to our benefits link.

Ruby: And you said…?

Ginger: I asked the two of them to teach me about the internet, because clearly, I did not understand the true depth of the problem.

Ruby: Is that when you were told to go take a walk around the building before you hurt someone?

Ginger: I knew you had the flashback script somewhere!

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