Antiquated Technology

Fly: What are you reading?

Ruby: A book…?

Fly: Is that one of yours? I haven’t seen it before.

Ruby: Oh, no, it’s Ginger’s. I borrowed it when I went over to water her plant today.

Fly: Oh, okay.

Ruby: …you’re staring.

Fly: I just realized…I haven’t seen you read a book in a long time.

Ruby: I read. All the time. You’re just usually sleeping or…kindly making dinner so I don’t have to and can finish this chapter.

Fly: I meant I haven’t seen you read an actual book in a long time. Usually it’s some device.

Ruby: Oh – you mean you haven’t seen outdated technology in my hands in a long time.

Fly: “Outdated technology?”

Ruby: Yes. I call paperback books “outdated technology.”

Fly: …because it’s not digitalized?

Ruby: Pretty much. When I come across a word I’m not familiar with while reading, I can’t touch the word and have a definition pop up.

Fly: And context just goes right over your head?

Ruby: But I want to know the actual definition. Not the Lemony Snicket definition.

Fly: …yeah, I’m not Ginger. You’re going to have to explain that.

Ruby: Lemony Snicket uses words that may go over his reader’s head, so he often adds “a word which here means…” and then a very strict definition of the word that can only apply to the situation in the book.

Fly: Right.

Ruby: Also, if I fall asleep while reading on a device, it saves my page for me. If I fall asleep reading this book, however…

Fly: I’ll wake up when I hear “Thud. OUCH! …Fly…can you get me an icepack?”

Ruby: …pretty much.

Fly: …why did you read a Lemony Snicket novel? Isn’t that a series for children?

Ruby: Ginger finds him hilarious. She shares her library.

Fly: Ah.

Ruby: She refers to them as “in-between-romance-novel” books. Like a mental cleansing course.

Fly: Of course.

Ruby: Also, if I want to borrow a book from the library, I can get it without leaving the house, because it gets delivered via the internet.

Fly: Right.

Ruby: And I can carry a lot more books around with me without adding weight to my carry-on.

Fly: And I appreciate that.

Ruby: So, really, books are outdated technology.

Fly: You call them “outdated” instead of “antiquated?”

Ruby: …yes.

Fly: But “antiquated technology” sounds cooler.

Ruby: Thank you for saying something Ginger would say.

Fly: I know you miss her.

Ruby: It’s true.

Fly: Otherwise, why would you be reading a book with Batman on the cover?

Ruby: …it’s the novelization of a graphic novel…

Fly: Yeah. You’re not codemented at all.

* * *

Ginger: Okay, so now, I need you to take the picture from an angle where it looks like I’m as tall as the Eiffel Tower and that my arm is around it – I can make that happen using PhotoShop later. Okay? Ready?

Parisian: Quelqu’un at-il pas dit que vous caméras sont vétustes technologie?

Ginger: …I miss Ruby…


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