Ruby: Good morning, this is Ru- oh, hi, Ginger.
Ginger: I’m so ready.
Ruby: I’m so glad. What are you ready for?
Ginger: I’m so ready for my review. At work.
Ginger: I’m so ready, I’m like…So-Red-it-tea.
Ruby: I have no idea what that means.
Ginger: It means I watched Serenity last night to calm my nerves.
Ruby: Why were you nervous?
Ginger: I love that you skip over the fact that I watched a movie about a ragtag group of people taking on a corrupt corporate-owned government thing in a suicide mission that actually went well – all things considered – to calm my nerves the night before my annual review.
Ruby: I’m just happy it wasn’t SLiTHER this time. Why were you nervous?
Ginger: It’s human nature to get nervous before being judged for the work one has completed over the span of a year. I always get nervous before reviews.
Ruby: Ah. And so watching a movie about a ragtag group of people taking on a corrupt corporate-owned government thing in a suicide mission that actually went well – all things considered – calmed your nerves?
Ginger: Yeah. I mean, if they can take on the Alliance and Reavers to get the message broadwaved across the ‘verse, I can take an annual review.
Ruby: That’s good. I’m hoping there’s less violence and bloodshed in your reviews, though.
Ginger: Usually. Less death, too, come to think of it.
Ruby: That’s a good sign – it means you don’t work for Reavers.
Ginger: I do have a new manager, though…maybe he’s a Reaver…
Ruby: Does he have any self-inflicted facial disfigurements?
Ginger: Not that I know of. It has been a whole month since I saw him last.
Ruby: Well, since that’s pretty much the first thing to look for, I think you’re okay.
Ginger: He could be a Reaver in disguise…
Ruby: You’re making yourself nervous again.
Ginger: Maybe I should go home and watch SLiTHER before he gets here…
Ruby: Why, so you can convince yourself he’s being controlled by a red slug inside his skull?
Ginger: Um…no…of course not…that’d be…crazy…
Ruby: Just take a deep breath and whenever you start to think your manager is a Reaver in disguise or being controlled in a zombie-like state by an intergalactic red slug, repeat the following phrase: Don’t Panic.
Ginger: You’re using Douglas Adams wisdom to counter my Joss Whedon and James Gunn inspired fears?
Ruby: …will it help if I bring you a towel?
Ginger: No. I have one in the bottom drawer here at the office. You never know when you’ll need it.
Ruby: Good. Now. It’s time for you to get to work.
Ginger: Thank you.
Ruby: Don’t mention it. Oh, and Ginger?
Ruby: Don’t ask your manager if he’s a cyborg, vampire, demon or hallucination. It will only make your review longer than it needs to be.
Ginger: …I wasn’t going to but now I might need to…
Ruby: Also, please leave the rock salt in your bottom drawer with the towel.
Ginger: You are taking all the fun out of my annual review, you know that?
Ruby: I do try.