So-Red-It-Tea

Ruby: Good morning, this is Ru- oh, hi, Ginger.

Ginger: I’m so ready.

Ruby: I’m so glad. What are you ready for?

Ginger: I’m so ready for my review. At work.

Ruby: Okay.

Ginger: I’m so ready, I’m like…So-Red-it-tea.

Ruby: I have no idea what that means.

Ginger: It means I watched Serenity last night to calm my nerves.

Ruby: Why were you nervous?

Ginger: I love that you skip over the fact that I watched a movie about a ragtag group of people taking on a corrupt corporate-owned government thing in a suicide mission that actually went well – all things considered – to calm my nerves the night before my annual review.

Ruby: I’m just happy it wasn’t SLiTHER this time. Why were you nervous?

Ginger: It’s human nature to get nervous before being judged for the work one has completed over the span of a year. I always get nervous before reviews.

Ruby: Ah. And so watching a movie about a ragtag group of people taking on a corrupt corporate-owned government thing in a suicide mission that actually went well – all things considered – calmed your nerves?

Ginger: Yeah. I mean, if they can take on the Alliance and Reavers to get the message broadwaved across the ‘verse, I can take an annual review.

Ruby: That’s good. I’m hoping there’s less violence and bloodshed in your reviews, though.

Ginger: Usually. Less death, too, come to think of it.

Ruby: That’s a good sign – it means you don’t work for Reavers.

Ginger: I do have a new manager, though…maybe he’s a Reaver…

Ruby: Does he have any self-inflicted facial disfigurements?

Ginger: Not that I know of. It has been a whole month since I saw him last.

Ruby: Well, since that’s pretty much the first thing to look for, I think you’re okay.

Ginger: He could be a Reaver in disguise…

Ruby: You’re making yourself nervous again.

Ginger: Maybe I should go home and watch SLiTHER before he gets here…

Ruby: Why, so you can convince yourself he’s being controlled by a red slug inside his skull?

Ginger: Um…no…of course not…that’d be…crazy…

Ruby: Just take a deep breath and whenever you start to think your manager is a Reaver in disguise or being controlled in a zombie-like state by an intergalactic red slug, repeat the following phrase: Don’t Panic.

Ginger: You’re using Douglas Adams wisdom to counter my Joss Whedon and James Gunn inspired fears?

Ruby: …will it help if I bring you a towel?

Ginger: No. I have one in the bottom drawer here at the office. You never know when you’ll need it.

Ruby: Good. Now. It’s time for you to get to work.

Ginger: Thank you.

Ruby: Don’t mention it. Oh, and Ginger?

Ginger: Yes?

Ruby: Don’t ask your manager if he’s a cyborg, vampire, demon or hallucination. It will only make your review longer than it needs to be.

Ginger: …I wasn’t going to but now I might need to

Ruby: Also, please leave the rock salt in your bottom drawer with the towel.

Ginger: You are taking all the fun out of my annual review, you know that?

Ruby: I do try.

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