Is China in Mordor, or is Mordor in China?

Ginger: Look over there!

Ruby: Where?

Ginger: …wow. You didn’t even look up from your computer.

Ruby: That’s because you pointed randomly out the window and you’ve been trying to distract me all afternoon.

Ginger: I’m bored.

Ruby: I figured that out.

Ginger: Why do you invite me over if I just have to sit here and be quiet and let you do boring work that doesn’t involve me?

Ruby: Okay, first? I didn’t invite you over. I told you when you called that I was preparing tax documents and that I wouldn’t be able to play games.

Ginger: But I promised you coffee.

Ruby: And then you drank it on the way up here.

Ginger: Your neighbor is chatty. She kept yammering on at me in the hallway for ages. I had to do something to stay awake.

Ruby: How about not sing The Bear Necessities on your way from the elevator to my door at the top of your lungs? You woke her up. That’s what she was ‘yammering on’ about when she stopped you for two minutes.

Ginger: But it’s a catchy tune…

Ruby: But it’s – no. No. I’m not engaging. Sit quietly and let me work on this.

Ginger: …can I sing a different song, since you’re against Baloo the Bear?

Ruby: I’m not against Baloo, I’m… No. No. No. No. NOT. ENGAGING.

Ginger: …is it Disney songs in general, or just The Jungle Book? Because I do know more songs.

Ruby: If you can sing it very quietly, you can sing. Okay?

Ginger: Okay.

Ruby: Thank you.

Ginger: Moon…River…wider than your smile…I’m a wallll-tzing crocodile…mon frer

Ruby: …what?

Ginger: Shh. I’m singing quietly to myself.

Ruby: You’re singing the wrong words.

Ginger: What do you care? You’re “working.”

Ruby: Don’t put quotes around my activities. And if you’re going to sing, sing the right words. I know you know them.

Ginger: I don’t have to sing the right words. I’m not your iTunes account.

Ruby: …fine. Do whatever. I’m not engaging.

Ginger: Thank you. Hmm. Oh! Can I read this?

Ruby: What is it?

Ginger: A novel…?

Ruby: Fine. Yes. Please! Read it.

Ginger: Thank you.

Ruby: No, thank you.

Ginger: Chapter One: An Unexpected Party. In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet—


Ginger: What?

Ruby: You cannot read it out loud.

Ginger: …but that’s how this book has always been read in my family.

Ruby: Where did you even find that?!

Ginger: Fly borrowed my copy last week. Didn’t he read it to you?

Ruby: No. Fly does not read books to me. He reads quietly to himself and I read quietly to myself.

Ginger: Until you come across a section that needs to be shared, though, right?

Ruby: Well…yes…

Ginger: That whole book – in its original wording, and no extra embellishments – needs to be shared.

Ruby: You should really get over your annoyances with the movies.

Ginger: NEVER. Where was I?

Ruby: The whole book needs to be shared so you’re reading it out loud, against my expressed desires.

Ginger: Right. Anyway, how else do you think my siblings and I learned so many riddles?

Ruby: …you like riddles?

Ginger: Yes. But I’m pretty good at them, so…good luck.

Ruby: I have a riddle for you.

Ginger: If it’s ‘what’s in your pocket,’ the answer is always ‘a ring forged in the mountains of Mordor.’ Or a replica made in China.

Ruby: No, I have a better riddle for you.

Ginger: Okay. I’m ready!

Ruby: A woman sits down to prepare her tax documents for the meeting with her accountant that night. Unplanned, unbeckoned, uninvited, another woman shows up and attempts to distract, disrupt and disinterest the first woman. After several hours go by, the first woman is found burying a body in the deep woods. How many jurors find the first woman guilty of manslaughter?

Ginger: …I should probably consider that riddle very carefully for several hours in the comfort of my own home.

Ruby: Good plan.


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