Ginger: I think I have to marry Kyle Chandler.
Ruby: …who is Kyle Chandler?
Ginger: The man I think I have to marry. Honestly, Ruby, do try to keep up.
Ruby: Did your parents set you up with someone?
Ginger: Not that I know of…did my mother mention something to you?
Ruby: No – Ginger! Who is Kyle Chandler?
Ginger: Well, first he was this adorable guy who always got an advance copy of the newspaper…
Ginger: I don’t know, some cat would come and drop it off on his apartment doorstep, I guess.
Ruby: He lives in your building?
Ginger: Who? The cat?
Ruby: Kyle Chandler.
Ginger: If he does, he is very low key about it.
Ruby: How do you know he got an early edition of the newspaper – wait. This is starting to sound familiar…
Ginger: Yeah, and then, he was on the SWAT team for a brief interlude.
Ginger: Then he moved to Texas and coached football for a while. He was good, too.
Ruby: Is he an actor??
Ginger: And now, he’s taking care of his family in Florida.
Ruby: Ginger Blaze, are you kidding me? You’re in love with another actor?
Ginger: This is very different from my other loves, Ruby.
Ginger: Well, for one thing, I have never forced you to watch anything he’s ever been in.
Ginger: And for another, I’m pretty sure he’s already married. In real life.
Ruby: That has never been a deterrent in your heart’s desires before.
Ginger: Actually, grammatically? It’s very different.
Ginger: Yes. I have admitted to “being in love” with other actors. But I think I have to marry Kyle Chandler.
Ruby: I thought you were going to marry Nathan Fillion.
Ginger: I want to. I really do. But Kyle Chandler plays men that are far better suited to be my husband than most characters Nathan Fillion plays.
Ruby: So…you’re in love with Nathan Fillion, and you want to marry him…
Ruby: But because Kyle Chandler plays characters who are…what, exactly?
Ginger: Good husbands. Good men. Good role models. Good in a crisis. Good and Patient with women who are not always acting in a mature and logical manner.
Ruby: …yeah, you’re right. You kinda need that in a husband.
Ginger: So, the real question is, do I clone him or just brainwash my next date into becoming him?
Ruby: …clearly, the answer is to clone him. Brainwashing someone could backfire.
Ruby: Or…and this is just a thought…
Ruby: You could meet a good man, who is good and patient with you when you’re not acting in a mature and logical manner, who also reminds you of the qualities you love in Nathan Fillion…and date and eventually marry him.
Ginger: That’s a thought…
Ruby: I think you’re having a separate thought entirely.
Ginger: I am.
Ruby: Will I regret asking what it is?
Ginger: You’ll never know until you try.
Ruby: …what’s your separate thought?
Ginger: Screw it. I’m marrying Nathan Fillion anyway. I’m pretty sure he’s a Good Man and doesn’t just play one on TV.
Ruby: That makes as much logical sense as cloning Kyle Chandler.
Ginger: …is that sarcasm in your voice?