We Knows The Secrets, Precious, Of The Fire Swampsies…

Ginger: Whatcha doin?

Ruby: Playing a video game…

Ginger: Which one is this?

Ruby: Lego Lord of the Rings…hang on…

Ginger: Cool.

Ruby: Yeah…

Ginger: Are we still going to the store?

Ruby: Let me just finish this level…

Ginger: Okie-dokie.

Ruby: It’s kinda hard to get Frodo and Samwise all the way through the Fire Swamp…

Ginger: …the what, now?

Ruby: The…y’know…Fire Swamp…

Ginger: Did Gollum learn the secrets from Buttercup and Westley?

Ruby: What?

Ginger: The Fire Swamp is in The Princess Bride.

Ruby: Oh. Yeah. Whatever.

Ginger: The Dead Marshes, on the other hand, have dead bodies. And is in The Lord of the Rings.

Ruby: Picky-picky. It’s not like it matters that much – this has fewer ROUS’s, I’ll grant you, but they’re both fictional swamplands.

Ginger: Yeah. I guess they’re all pretty much interchangeable.

Ruby: See?

Ginger: It’s too bad Atreyu never got through the Swamps of Sadness, since that Nazgûl swooped down on his winged creature thing and ate him up.

Ruby: …what?

Ginger: If you get to mix up all the fictional swamps, why stop with just Tolkien and Morgenstern? Maybe Lloyd Alexander’s Taran got stuck in Norton Juster’s Doldrums.

Ruby: Ginger…

Ginger: I guess that would mean Milo took a wrong turn and ended up in the Dead Marshes, since no one has actually visited there yet…

Ruby: I should have known better…

Ginger: And maybe Westley and Buttercup somehow managed to trip into the Bog of Eternal Stench…

Ruby: Really? Labyrinth got in here?

Ginger: And that would mean Sarah, Hoggle and Ludo actually stumbled into the Marshes of Morva, but receive assistance from Orddu, Orwen and Orgoch.

Ruby: You read way too many fantasy novels.

Ginger: At least I can keep them straight.

Ruby: I think it’s possible you missed a few.

Ginger: I have the whole car ride to remember and shuffle them around for you.

Ruby: Why did I offer to drive you to the store?

Ginger: Because I promise to not bring up the Portable Swamp the Weasley brothers brought forth?

Ruby: …oh, goody.

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