Ruby: There is no easy way to say this.
Ginger: I find there can be, if you look hard enough.
Ruby: No. There really isn’t.
Ginger: Ruby, you can tell me anything. I promise.
Ruby: Ginger, I will agree that I can tell you anything. You can’t promise that you’ll listen.
Ginger: Just tell me whatever it is you need to say.
Ruby: I…can’t. I really can’t.
Ginger: It’s perfectly all right. I promise I will hear you out without over-reacting.
Ruby: But as soon as I finish speaking, you’ll over-react like your usual self?
Ginger: I make no promises once you finish speaking your peace. But while you are speaking, I will listen and react like a grown-up, mature person.
Ruby: You know what that is, right?
Ginger: I watch TV. I hear things. I can be taught.
Ruby: Okay. Here goes.
Ruby: You were right.
Ginger: I’m not sure I follow.
Ruby: You were right. It was poison ivy, after all.
Ginger: Oh. Is that all?
Ruby: What do you mean, ‘Is that all’?! You listened to three words, looked them up on the internet and came back with “It’s just poison ivy. Get some calamine lotion and apply liberally.” My boss was so grateful, he didn’t care that I forgot to turn off my cell phone in a meeting!
Ginger: Oh, yeah, sorry I called seven times in a row. I felt my question was very important.
Ruby: Yeah, again, asking me what that song was when we were driving to your parents’ house ‘that one time’ still isn’t important enough to call that many times during the workday.
Ginger: I figured it out. Eventually.
Ruby: No. No, you didn’t.
Ginger: I did. I went to the internet and typed in a few of the lyrics that I could remember and it gave me the song.
Ruby: Ah. What was it?
Ginger: Clark Gable by the Postal Service.
Ginger: Anyway. Is that all you had to say?
Ruby: I regret to admit…it is.
Ginger: And it was, what? Just one more time, please.
Ruby: You were right. Once.
Ginger: Right. So, you’re done?
Ginger: I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ACCURATELY DIAGNOSE A MEDICAL CONDITION ON THE INTERNET! I AM THE QUEEN OF THE TRUTHFAIL STATEMENTS AND ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE ME THUSLY!
Ruby: …“truthfail statements?”
Ginger: I like to be as honest as possible in my hyperbole.
Ruby: Works for me.