Near Miss – In My Head.

Ruby: Ginger, come on, we don’t really have all night.

Ginger: Look, I’m just saying it’s weird to go up to the checkout holding a bottle of rum and a can of pineapple slices.

Ruby: But you want to pick up crazy straws?

Ginger: If you’re going to make the checkout clerk curious, at least get an eyebrow raise while you’re at it.

Ruby: This from the woman who gets embarrassed buying tampons.

Ginger: I found a way around that.

Ruby: You have someone else buy them for you?

Ginger: No. I apply my Eyebrow Raising Scheme. Now whenever I need to buy feminine hygiene products, I also purchase a gift bag and a condolence card. You’d be surprised how many Eyebrow Raises I get.

Ruby: No. I think I can guess how many you get.

Ginger: Take the fun out of it, why don’t you?

Ruby: Oh, I’m sorry. How many Eyebrow Raises do you get with this little game of yours?

Ginger: …your voice sounded oddly computerized when you said that.

Ruby: Really?

Ginger: Yeah. That was weird.

Ruby: Sorry.

Ginger: Weird. Anyway.

Ruby: So, do you want to drive back to the house? I have to call Fly and my Bluetooth hasn’t been working lately.

Ginger: And you like focusing on one thing at a time?

Ruby: He got a letter that I have to open and read to him. It can wait, but I’d rather do it when I know he’ll be available to talk. Which will be in about ten minutes – when we’re still driving back to the house.

Ginger: Okay. I’ll drive. Even though I’m still a little freaked by my near-miss.

Ruby: Near-miss?

Ginger: Yeah. I was driving and this stupid little beady-eyed creature tried coming out onto the highway and I couldn’t swerve because there was a steady stream of traffic coming towards me and the thing was going to come out onto the road and I knew I was going to have to hit it and I was preparing myself mentally when it decided to not cross the road at all.

Ruby: That was your near-miss?

Ginger: It was a near-miss in my head.

Ruby: You are a near-miss in your head.

Ginger: It was very traumatic in my head!

Ruby: I’m sure it was.

Ginger: I could have nearly missed hitting a kangaroo, Ruby! It was very traumatic in my head!

Ruby: Yes, Ginger, of course it – wait…a kangaroo?

Ginger: Um. Yes?

Ruby: How long ago was this near-miss in your head?

Ginger: I dunno, a year or two? Maybe five? Possibly more? Does it matter? My nearly-traumatized brain is still reeling.

Ruby: You’re driving.

Ginger: Okay. But can we get the crazy straws?

Ruby: Fine. But I get to pretend I don’t really know you that well.

Ginger: Deal.


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