Symptoms Include Itchy Red Welts

Ginger: Ruby?

Ruby: Ginger?

Ginger: Do I have rabies?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Okay.

Ruby: Ginger?

Ginger: Ruby?

Ruby: Should I be worried that you think you might have rabies?

Ginger: I think the bigger concern is if I did have rabies, would you Old Yeller me yourself or pay someone else?

Ruby: …you know we can cure rabies, right?

Ginger: Oh. Maybe I’m thinking of scabies.

Ruby: I doubt you were thinking of scabies.

Ginger: Scurvy?

Ruby: Name a symptom of scurvy and I might drive you to the doctor for an actual diagnosis.

Ginger: I want to say wooden legs are involved…?

Ruby: Because pirates have scurvy?

Ginger: Well, they’re the ones who talk about it most.

Ruby: Right. No doctor visits today. I guess I’ll continue to ignore your medical diagnosis from Google and Wikipedia.

Ginger: Is parvy a thing?

Ruby: Nope.

Ginger: Echinacea?

Ruby: …are you asking me if you have Echinacea?

Ginger: I’m asking if Echinacea is a real thing.

Ruby: Yes. Echinacea is a real thing.

Ginger: Then I have that.

Ruby: Then I’ll have to take your word for it.

Ginger: So, you believe me? I have something wrong with me?

Ruby: I believe you have something wrong with you.

Ginger: Is it bad?

Ruby: Some days are worse than others.

Ginger: How do you spell Echinacea?

Ruby: M-O-S-Q-U-I-T-O, then the second word is B-I-T-E-S.

Ginger: Wow, I never would have gotten that on my own.

Ruby: I know; it’s one of those tricky words.

Ginger: Ruby! I have it! That is exactly what my arms and legs look like!

Ruby: Yes, Ginger. I know.

Ginger: ……..HEY!

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