Insert “Jaws” Theme Here…

Ginger:  IT’S HAPPENING!!!!

Fly: What is?

Ruby: Oh, no…

Ginger:  I GOT MY TICKETS!!!!

Fly: Tickets to what?

Ruby: Oh, no

Elle: Ruby?! Ruby, tell me you’re home!! I have terrifying news!

Fly: Do we even lock the door anymore, or do you just hand out keys to crazy, screaming women at every opportunity?

Ginger:  ELLE!!! FLY!!!! RUBY!!!! I HAVE WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!!

Ruby: She found out, didn’t she?

Elle: I tried to keep her from going to the website…I tried!!

Fly: What is going on?

Ruby: Ginger, calm down – I’m sure that you’re going to have to breathe soon.

Elle: You should sit down, too. Ginger, please, just…stop jumping up and down.

Fly: Someone, please, tell me what is going on?

Ginger:  NATHAN FILLION IS COMING TO TOWN AND THAT MEANS I CAN FINALLY MEET HIM AND TALK TO HIM AND GET HIM TO LOOK AT ME AND TALK TO ME AND REALIZE THAT WE ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER AND HE’LL FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH MY AND ALL OUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!

Fly: …oh…oh, no…no, no…

Ruby: It’s okay. We knew this day would come.

Elle: We had hoped it wouldn’t happen for…y’know…a long time…but…we knew.

Ruby: We prepared.

Fly: How can you prepare for this? Duck and cover?!

Ruby: It’s a slight variation of that – Ginger, stop jumping up and down! Please, honey, we know you’re excited! Elle, when is the convention?

Elle: We have two months.

Ruby: Okay. We need to put an immediate rush on Operation American In Paris…

Elle: I brought the DVD.

Fly: We’re not watching a Nathan Fillion movie for the next two months, are we?

Ruby: Fly, have you even met Ginger? That would be like pouring gasoline on a fire! We have to distract her with her previous “true loves.”

Elle: Preferably dead ones.

Ruby: It’s harder for her to find local conventions they attend.

Fly: You’re holding a DVD of the movie An American In Paris.

Ruby: Gene Kelly.

Elle: She has the energy. She’ll start singing and dancing as soon as the movie begins.

Ruby: She’ll tire herself out.

Elle: She’ll fall asleep on the couch before the fourth viewing.

Fly: FOURTH?!

Ruby: Would you rather listen to this for the next two months?

Ginger:  AND THEN WE WILL HUG AND TELL EACH OTHER HOW WONDERFUL FIREFLY IS AND LAUGH AND QUOTE IT AND PLAY FIREFLY CLUE AND FIREFLY – THE BOARD GAME AND I WILL LET HIM BE MAL AND I WILL BE INARA, BUT WE’LL BE TOGETHER INSTEAD OF APART, AND HE WILL KNOW THAT MY LOVE FOR HIM IS TRUE AND UNBREAKABLE AND NOTHING WILL EVER STOP US FROM BEING HAPPY TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fly: I see your point. Continue.

Elle: Tomorrow, I’ll engage her in Operation Tex Avery.

Fly: You’ll…talk about the animator, Tex Avery?

Ruby: Look, we tried to keep the operation code names simple so that we wouldn’t have to think very hard when it happened.

Elle: I’m jumping on the 12-hour Tex Avery viewing grenade here, you might want to show a little gratitude.

Fly: After Gene Kelly and Tex Avery, who’s next? Charlie Chaplin?

Ruby: No, Jim Henson. We call it Operation Muppets.

Fly: I’ll take that one.

Ruby: Are you sure?

Fly: Yes. I think I can take four or five hours of the Muppets with Ginger.

Elle: That’s so cute…you think it’s just four or five hours.

Fly: It’s not?

Ruby: We’ve been stockpiling the entire series of The Muppet Show on DVD…and all the movies.

Elle: They’re as A.D.D. as she is. She might temporarily forget what is happening, but something in her squirrely brain will remind her that HE is coming to town.

Fly: “HE is coming to town”? Really?

Ruby: We can’t use his name for the next two months. It could trigger…this…again…

Ginger:  A SPRING WEDDING IN PARIS, WITH AN EVENING RECEPTION ON A BOAT ON THE SEINE, WITH FIREFLIES RELEASED AS WE TOAST THE SUCCESS OF OUR BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE AND LOVE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!!!!!

Ruby: This is going to be a long two months, isn’t it?

Elle: We prepared. We’ll survive.

Fly: We hope.

Ruby: Start the movie… Hey, Ginger? Look at what Elle is putting on – I haven’t seen this in years! I don’t know if you remember all the dance moves…

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