There Is No Judgment On Netflix

Ginger: Ruby? Are you home?

Ruby: Yup. I’m here.

Ginger: …are you watching TV?

Ruby: No. I am not watching TV.

Ginger: Weird. It looks like you’re watching that show again.

Ruby: It’s not on TV. Technically, I’m not watching TV. And you said there’s no judgment on Netflix.

Ginger: There’s no judgment on Netflix.

Ruby: So, there. I can watch what I want to watch.

Ginger: Were you watching your precious Doctor all day?

Ruby: Umm. Yeah. That’s totally what I did all day today.

Ginger: …wait…that’s your lying “Umm. Yeah.” You actually did things around the house today, didn’t you, and you just started the episode five minutes ago – didn’t you?!

Ruby: Okay, first of all? I’m twenty six minutes into this episode. So, five minutes ago would literally be impossible.

Ginger: My math might have been off by twenty one minutes. But the rest? I’m right, aren’t I?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: No?

Ruby: That’s not my lying “Umm. Yeah.” It’s my Shut-up-and-promise-you-won’t-tell-Fly-that-I-didn’t-get-the-laundry-done-and-you-SWORE-there-is-no-judgment-on-Netflix! “Umm. Yeah.”

Ginger: Oh. It must be my lying “Umm. Yeah.”

Ruby: I think it’s all in how you interpret it.

Ginger: Like how my brother interprets Netflix’s checking in question?

Ruby: …I will actually need context before I respond to you.

Ginger: So, you’ve been watching this show for, what, 6 hours? 7?

Ruby: …can I just plead the fifth?

Ginger: Okay, so, 9 hours and twenty six minutes. Surely, at some point today, Netflix asked you “Are you still watching?”

Ruby: Shut up and yes.

Ginger: When that question popped up on your screen, did you read it as “Um. Excuse me. I’m not trying to bother you. I’m just asking if you’re still watching? Because if you are, then I’m not the only one watching this AMAZING show about things that do other things and people who talk to other people. And if you’re still watching, did you want to maybe go in for some pizza or other take out? I’m flexible. Did you want to keep watching? We could watch something else if you’re starting to get bored or something – TOTALLY UP TO YOU. Are you still watching?”

Ruby: That’s a lot for four words and a question mark.

Ginger: My brother reads it as “Are you STILL watching, you lazy good-for-nothing who should be doing homework or rebuilding an engine or feeding baby penguins at the zoo? For goodness’ sake – there’s a whole world out there and don’t act like it’s just one more episode, we both know it’s been 9 hours and twenty six minutes and you’re just going to keep going until your friend shows up and demands cookies or tacos or something. How can you still be watching this? It’s not even recent episodes! These weren’t even filmed in this CENTURY!! ARE YOU STILL WATCHING?!”

Ruby: There is no judgment on Netflix, right?

Ginger: There is no judgment on Netflix.

Ruby: Then I read the question as “This has been a fantastic 8 hour and 49 minute journey we’ve had together so far. I’m up for more if you are. Are you still watching?”

Ginger: …you did that in a British accent.

Ruby: Well, the accent is derived from the show you’re watching.

Ginger: So, if I were watching Psych for 8 hours, it would sound like Shawn and Gus arguing about who’s getting the pineapple from the fridge as snacks?

Ruby: …clearly.

Ginger: Can we get tacos? And then cookies? And then pineapple?

Ruby: I just need to finish this episode.

Ginger: Are you still watching?


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