Ginger: Ruby! Ruby! My life is in shambles! Ruby, where are you?
Ruby: Not right now, Ginger, I’m on the phone – hello? Yes? Hi. I’m calling to see where you are.
Fly: Okay, so the painters can’t paint the living room or the bedroom yet because they said – and I quote – “The walls aren’t actually up yet” but if we want, they can paint the kitchen’s northeast wall. Otherwise, they have to come back once the – oh, you’re on the phone.
Ruby: Right, it’s that really long name. Yup. That’s us.
Ginger: What’s going on?
Fly: Oh, hi, Ginger – when did you get here?
Ginger: Just now. She told me she can’t listen to my awful, horrendous day because she’s on the phone. She’s never said that.
Fly: Well, to be honest, usually you tell her about your awful, horrendous day over the phone.
Ruby: What do you mean you wrote down the 32nd of September? That’s not even a real date!
Ginger: I’m confused. What’s going on?
Fly: Just another snag in the Great Move of 2015.
Ginger: Who’s moving?
Ruby: No, you can’t reschedule for tomorrow, I live on the 19th floor – I have to schedule the freight elevator with the building.
Fly: Are you kidding?
Ginger: WHO IS MOVING?!
Ruby: Yes, you’re going to re-schedule this with no extra charge. You’re also going to re-arrange whatever you have to re-arrange to fit my schedule.
Ginger: WHO IS MOVING, FLY?! ANSWER ME!!
Fly: Ruby, did you see Ginger is here?
Ruby: Ginger – not now! Sit down and wait for me to get off the phone! I will explain everything to you in a moment!
Fly: How did you miss all our things are in boxes?
Ruby: What? Yes, you heard Ginger’s voice…Ginger Blaze…yes, she’s the one who recommended you as professional movers to me and my husband…no, she doesn’t live here. No, she’s not moving in here. No, she’s not moving out of here. Why is this important?
Ginger: I thought you were just re-decorating…
Ruby: As far as I can predict, she was not planning on being here when you show up to move my husband and me out of our current home.
Fly: Re-decorating? Into boxes?
Ginger: The refugee look might be the new black…
Ruby: Well, if you don’t show up the next time we get the freight elevator scheduled, I will make certain she is here when you show up. With her photo albums. And a box of tissues.
Fly: We showed you the floorplan of the new place.
Ginger: That was real?!
Ruby: And if you think of charging me anything more than the original agreed-upon price, I’ll even give her wine.
Fly: We drove you past the new place…it’s just on the other side of town.
Ginger: It’s all the way on the other side of town?! RUBY!!!
Ruby: Can you hear her? I have to go quiet her down now because you upset her. She was prepared for it to happen today. You know how she can be if her schedule gets disrupted…don’t you?
Fly: How is this even an issue? You’ve moved, like, eight times since we’ve known you!
Ginger: But you haven’t! I need one thing to remain the same throughout all my moves! Now how will I get to your place? A bus? A different train line? A plane? Do I have to rent a car? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
Fly: …Ruby – did you see Ginger is here?
Ruby: I will call you as soon as I have a new date for the freight elevator. Thank you for all the help…no, Ginger is not planning on moving any time soon. Trust me. Good-bye.
Ginger: YOU’RE MOVING AWAY FROM ME?!
Ruby: It’s closer to the hospital for Fly, I drew up plans on how you can get to the new place from work, from your apartment and from seven different coffee shops, comic book stores and theatres you frequent, I have told you before today and if you don’t stop freaking out about this, I won’t let you peel the painters’ tape from the wall over there.
Fly: How is that an incentive to not freak out?
Ginger: My world is in shambles, Ruby. Shambles. And now, you’re just springing this move on me.
Ruby: We’ve been explaining the move to you for eight months. I borrowed boxes from your last move. I got the name of the movers from you.
Ginger: My world – SHAMBLES.
Ruby: What’s wrong?
Ginger: My bookshelf broke. I have to buy a new bookshelf.
Ruby: The new place isn’t ready and won’t be ready until the end of the month, this place was sold already and we have to be out by next week, the movers who were supposed to be here today didn’t think our last name was real, so they scheduled us on a date that isn’t real, my sister and nieces are coming to stay with us and help us unpack in the new place that apparently doesn’t have walls yet while her husband is in another country for work, the freight elevator has to be booked a week in advance and the electricity is going to be shut off tonight at midnight because we thought we’d be moved out today.
Ginger: It was a whole bookshelf.
Ruby: Your life is so hard.
Ginger: See? Was that so hard to say?!