Ginger: WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY ARE THERE WEIRD STRANGERS IN YOUR APARTMENT?!
Ruby: We moved, remember?
Ginger: …you were serious about that?
Ruby: Did the new people in the apartment give you anything?
Ginger: Yes. They were really weirded out when I walked in, though. I don’t think you prepared them very well.
Ruby: But they gave you an envelope, right?
Ginger: Yes. The woman asked me for my keys, too. I find that very rude.
Ruby: So is walking in on someone else’s new home.
Ginger: The door was wide open. There were boxes everywhere.
Ruby: Did you give her your set of keys?
Ginger: Yes, because I’m not rude.
Ruby: Have you opened the envelope yet?
Ginger: No. I’m still mad at you. When were you going to tell me you don’t live there anymore?
Ruby: Do you know what I’m doing right now?
Ginger: Pinching the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes tightly and trying to pretend I made sense?
Ruby: Very close. Open the envelope.
Ginger: She seemed really weirded out that I actually exist.
Ruby: I’m sure you’re imagining that. Open the envelope.
Ginger: She said “Wait, you’re seriously Ginger? You really exist? That’s so weird.”
Ruby: Did you open the envelope yet?
Ginger: I’m working on it.
Ruby: It’s an envelope, Ginger. There is no combination lock on it.
Ginger: It’s a set of keys and a small laminated map for a keychain.
Ruby: The map is how to get to the new place from my old place. The keys are to the new place. I want you to keep them together for as long as it takes for you to get used to the idea that Fly and I now live in a new location.
Ginger: Ruby Ursula Arunathanpongakularunakullukanuragonpathan, nee Flash, WHEN were you going to tell me you MOVED?!
Ruby: You helped me pack the car. You hugged Eddy, the mover, when you stopped by yesterday. You gave us boxes. You received presents from the move. I gave you maps and the new address on multiple occasions. What did you think the final result was going to be?
Ginger: I find your assumption that I would put together dots in an orderly and sensical fashion to a clear and concise picture of reality around me to be more than mildly disturbing.
Ruby: What did you think the final result was going to be, Ginger?
Ginger: Did you know that your initials spell RUA? If you had married one of my brothers and then after years of bliss and tragic widowing married some guy with the last name beginning with Y and hyphenated your last name, you’d have initials that spell RUBY.
Ruby: Did you just wish one of your brothers dead?
Ginger: Only after years of wedded bliss to you… I’d be sad, too. And not just because my initials will never spell my first name.
Ruby: Yes. Life is very cruel sometimes.
Ginger: So I just have to follow the line on this map to get to your new place?
Ruby: Yes. It’s recommended you take the train that goes along that path. It goes faster.
Ginger: Okay. I’ll be there soon.
Ruby: I’ll get dinner started.
Ginger: I’ll think of other ways for you to get your initials to spell things.
Ruby: But I like being RUA. It’s like a battle cry for lions or something.
Ginger: Not really lions…more like lion cubs who are practicing their roars.
Ruby: I like being Fly’s wife. Can’t we just leave it like it is?
Ginger: …spoilsport… Can I at least think of good names for your children so that they have exciting initials?
Ruby: As long as you don’t tell Fly, yes.
Ginger: I like Sara Paulette.
Ginger: Because her initials would be SPA.
Ruby: I take it back, you can’t play this game.
Ginger: Sean Edgar. Boris Robert. Celeste Priscilla – she’d be good with numbers, of course. Brian Owen. Mia Isabel…of course, she’d have to either never marry or marry someone who also has a last name beginning with A… Gia Irene would have the same requirements imposed on her. Ooh! You could have hyphenated middle names! Tara Aimee-Ruby. Olivia Kristin-Ruby. MaryAnne Ruby-Ilsa…she’d be problematic, though…
Ruby: How do you solve a problem like me hanging up on you?
Ginger: How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? The answer, obviously, is you don’t close your hand.