Undeniably Moving Cookies

Ginger: Hey, did you know those people are still in your place? They’ve hung pictures on the walls and everything.

Ruby: I really thought we were past this – WE MOVED.

Ginger: They make really good cookies, though.

Ruby: You shouldn’t…Ginger, stop going to that address. We don’t live there anymore.

Ginger: You didn’t make cookies nearly as often as they do.

Ruby: I thought they took back your keys…

Ginger: They did. I think I’ll call them Cookie Family.

Ruby: Ginger…just stop going there. I’ll make you cookies here, the very next time you come. I promise. Leave the nice family alone.

Ginger: I can’t help it if I’m drawn there. Repeatedly. Seriously, these cookies are amazing.

Ruby: Did they give you cookies in an attempt to make you leave?

Ginger: No, they actually invited me over.

Ruby: …was that sarcasm?

Ginger: No, I’m serious. Mrs. Cookie ran into me at the grocery store and said I should stop by.

Ruby: Glossing over why you were at the grocery store by my old place –

Ginger: The one by my place doesn’t sell the kind of yoghurt I like.

Ruby: Glossing. Over. Wait, you don’t like yoghurt…Michael Weston much?

Ginger: He makes it look so tasty.

Ruby: …….anyway, did you stalk Mrs. Cookie or did you really run into her accidentally?

Ginger: At first she thought I was stalking her, but after I explained about the yoghurt, we got to talking. And then she said I should stop by.

Ruby: Why?

Ginger: You ordered something online and it arrived yesterday. Rather than send it back, she figured I’d be stopping by in one of my rare moments of absent-minded rantings and that I could pick up the box and bring it to you.

Ruby: I didn’t order anything online recently.

Ginger: It may have been me who ordered you something.

Ruby: Why?

Ginger: I wanted you to get mail at your new place.

Ruby: But you sent it to the old place.

Ginger: I can’t help it if I’m a creature of habit.

Ruby: Well, do you want to bring the package here?

Ginger: No, I want you to get mail at your new place.

Ruby: Bills don’t count?

Ginger: No.

Ruby: All right, well, then you’re going to have to put it into a new box and address it to my new place and have it shipped to me here.

Ginger: Yeah, about that…

Ruby: Just send it to me.

Ginger: Mm-hm.

Ruby: It’s really not as complicated as I’m sure you’re making it.

Ginger: It kinda is.

Ruby: Just make sure you write the new address on the box this time.

Ginger: I Need Your New Address.

Ruby: OH! Right, we didn’t – wait, you have it!

Ginger: No, I have a laminated map, train information and a mental image of a very pale yellow third house on the left, third street from the train stop with three square windows by the front door.

Ruby: …that’s almost an address.

Ginger: The numbers are not even on the house yet! You said the builder never got around to it and you and Fly haven’t had a chance to put them up there!

Ruby: You’re saying you can’t write the train stop and then “3rd street to the east, 3rd house on the left, 3 windows by the front door” on the envelope?

Ginger: Not if you actually want to receive this package in this century.

Ruby: I don’t know what it is. Coming from you, it could be anything from cookies to a taxidermied goat head with gold teeth and a floral lei around its neck.

Ginger: …that would look so awesome above your fireplace…

Ruby: Okay, first? We don’t have a fireplace. Second? NO.

Ginger: Maybe you should just give me credit for not sending you a goat’s head in the mail and give me your mailing address.

Ruby: …I just can’t. You’re going to have to physically come here and sign a written promise that you’ll never mail me a goat’s head – ever – before I give you the mailing address.

Ginger: This sounds like a tragic loss on your part, but fine. I can be there in ten minutes.

Ruby: Ten? Where are you?

Ginger: There’s a coffee shop down the street from your new place. Also, some woman keeps bringing her dachshund in here, like, every day I come in and I must say, the dog is growing on me. Not the woman, though.

Ruby: Why do you go to a coffee shop before coming here?

Ginger: …you’ve started drinking decaf.

Ruby: Point taken. See you in ten?

Ginger: Prepare the document. And the cookies. You did promise, after all.

Ruby: See you in ten.

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