Ginger: Ruby…this week has been nothing but exhausting.
Ruby: …it’s 8:03 AM on a Monday morning.
Ginger: Yes, but it’s a short week, so time moves at a different pace. So, although your clock and calendar tell you one thing, they are incorrect. We’re already halfway into Tuesday right now.
Ruby: …I don’t think your math adds up. By your calculations, Friday will arrive by this afternoon.
Ginger: Well, no, it’s a short week, so time is just screwy.
Ruby: Ah. Have you had enough coffee this morning?
Ginger: Are you suggesting that time is dragging simply because my caffeine-meter is at negative four cups?
Ruby: …I don’t think you understand how math actually works. In order for you to be negative four cups, you would have had to – never mind. Go get some coffee.
Ginger: I can’t. I’m supposed to be going to a meeting in two minutes.
Ruby: Are you supposed to present anything at the meeting?
Ginger: No. I’m supposed to learn how to use a new computer program we had to download over the weekend.
Ruby: They’re going to want you to be caffeinated.
Ginger: I’ve already spent the past ten minutes teaching other people in my cube farm how to use the program. It’s not really rocket science.
Ruby: I’m going to stop teaching you how to use computer programs and demand you go caffeinate yourself. Now.
Ginger: I’ll be late for the meeting, and it’s a short week, so in Short Week Math, I’ll show up sometime on Thursday, which is four days late.
Ruby: But time is screwy, so if you drink two sips of your coffee in the elevator going back up to your cube farm, you’ll actually travel back in time to early Tuesday. When the meeting is, y’know, just starting. Apparently.
Ginger: I don’t think you understand Short Week Math.
Ruby: Just, go get your coffee. Wait…
Ruby: Why are they teaching you how to use a new program on a Monday of a short week? Wouldn’t it make more sense to teach you next Monday?
Ginger: Yes, it would make more sense to do that. But, I work in an office that exists within a large corporation that operates mostly in America. Senseless meetings are a way to slowly siphon off our souls that feed the mysterious and faceless board members and CEOs that manage things. They get Thanksgiving, too, Ruby. Just a different kind.
Ruby: Wow…if you don’t caffeinate yourself before this meeting, you might forget that your inner-monologue thought release is open and your filter is set to Weekend Status.
Ginger: It is? Oh, rats! I have to go get some coffee before I say something like that out loud in the meeting! Gotta go, Rubes!
Ruby: Bye, Ginger.