It’s Cylons Versus Romulans Tonight, Folks…

Ginger: I do not understand sports.

Ruby: …we know.

Ginger: I also do not understand why people get so worked up over sports.

Ruby: You don’t?

Ginger: No. For most of the people I know, it’s a group of people being broadcast to the TV in one room, where people on the couch or in chairs or standing in the doorway and shout at the tiny portrayals of people from a different part of the city, state or nation, as though the tiny portrayals can hear and react to the shouting. It’s…madness.

Ruby: You don’t see how that works?

Ginger: Am I supposed to?

Ruby: I’ve seen you shout at commercials.

Ginger: …so?

Ruby: I’ve seen you shout at cartoons.

Ginger: I’ve seen you shout at other cars on the freeway.

Ruby: Hey – they can hear me.

Ginger: Only in the summertime, Ruby. And only if their air conditioner is also broken.

Ruby: Okay, so back to you and your crazy antics.

Ginger: Yes, we can revisit yours in about six months.

Ruby: Maybe it will help you understand why people are shouting at their TV’s if I put it into perspective for you…

Ginger: You always tell me it’s dangerous to try to see things from my perspective!

Ruby: I know, but I think I can do it this time.

Ginger: Okay…

Ruby: Imagine the players of that team – the green team – are…Romulans.

Ginger: All of them?

Ruby: Yes. They’re Romulans.

Ginger: Okay…

Ruby: And now, imagine all the players on the…um…what color is that? Chartreuse?

Ginger: Who knows?

Ruby: Probably every man in this bar, actually. But anyway, the other team is made up of…Reavers.

Ginger: Reavers win.

Ruby: No, but you don’t know that for sure.

Ginger: Ruby…they’re Reavers.

Ruby: Good point. They’re not Reavers after all, the other guys are…Cylons?

Ginger: …you should probably watch more science fiction before you try to make sports understandable.

Ruby: Agreed.

Ginger: After all, everyone knows Cylons aren’t even in the same universe as Romulans.

Ruby: Actually, there might be some men in this bar that don’t know that.

Ginger: Then why are we here?

Ruby: We offered to pick up the food for Fly and his guests so they can continue to watch the game and I can explain football to you.

Ginger: Oh! Look! That Romulan is trying to sneak attack the Federation Ambassador! Where did the Reavers go? They never would have let someone run past them without shooting a harpoon or something at him!!


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