Still Trying To Work “Care Bear” In Somehow…

Ginger: Coffee…

Ruby: Hang on one moment, Ginger, I’m on the phone.

Ginger: Coffee

Ruby: Yeah, that works. Go ahead and send it over and I’ll work on it this afternoon.

Ginger: Coffee…coffee…coffee…

Ruby: You’ll have it before the meeting. Promise. All right. Bye!

Ginger: Coffee?

Ruby: Sorry, Ginger, I was on the phone.

Ginger: Oh. I thought that grew out of your ear.

Ruby: No. It didn’t.

Ginger: Was it an important call?

Ruby: It was work.

Ginger: …that doesn’t answer the question. You discuss Muppet relationships at work.

Ruby: …I wish I could argue… This was my new manager, Cary.

Ginger: …Fisher?

Ruby: What?

Ginger: Carrie Fisher?

Ruby: Wrong gender.

Ginger: Carrie Anne Moss?

Ruby: She’s still a woman.

Ginger: Kerry Washington?

Ruby: Branching out…to a different woman. So. No. Since I already answered the question of gender.

Ginger: Carrie Underwood?

Ruby: You know ‘Cary’ can be a man’s name, right?

Ginger: John Kerry?

Ruby: I don’t discuss politics with you.

Ginger: Cary Elwes?

Ruby: No.

Ginger: Cary Grant?

Ruby: He’d be a zombie…and no.

Ginger: Harry Caray?

Ruby: Another zombie…and another no.

Ginger: Drew Carey?

Ruby: …don’t make me go all Stephen King’s version of Carrie on you.

Ginger: You’re cleaning up the pig’s blood if you do.

Ruby: I’ll let you carry the bucket of bleach.

Ginger: This could lead into a full re-enactment of Dr. Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce’s Carry Quote if you don’t nip it in the bud real fast.

Ruby: Oh, why not? Carry on, my wayward…y’know.

Ginger: I’ll carry your books, I’ll carry a torch, I’ll carry a tune, I’ll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash-and-carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I’ll even “hari-kari” if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!

Ruby: Feel better?

Ginger: Wow, my voice really carries sometimes…

Ruby: Only in the hallway.

Ginger: Do you know what I noticed?

Ruby: When you say ‘carry’ so much, it starts to sound wrong?

Ginger: No.

Ruby: What did you notice?

Ginger: I still don’t have coffee.

Ruby: You didn’t notice you’re not at work?

Ginger: I called in sick.

Ruby: But you’re here. And you don’t look sick.

Ginger: I said I was scared I had the flu or a bad cold or insanity.

Ruby: And they let you stay home, based on that?

Ginger: No. My manager said I couldn’t have insanity. I’m just a carrier.


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