Animalistic Idioms

Ginger: Happy Warthog Day!

Ruby: Do you mean…Groundhog Day?

Ginger: I can’t keep track of all those animal names.

Ruby: Groundhog Day was Tuesday.

Ginger: I’m still calling it Warthog Day.

Ruby: We could call today Warthog Day…I’d support that.

Ginger: Works for now… I have patience.

Ruby: No you don’t.

Ginger: I do so! I have the patience of a panther.

Ruby: I don’t think that’s a thing.

Ginger: It should be.

Ruby: It’s the patience of Job.

Ginger: That can’t be right, I have a job – it doesn’t make me patient.

Ruby: So true.

Ginger: I’m pretty sure it’s patient of a panther. All they ever do is sit and wait for night to fall so they can stalk their prey – patiently.

Ruby: According to Walt Whitman, it’s patience of a spider.

Ginger: I dunno…they always seem in a hurry to get away when I see them.

Ruby: Yeah, Walt Whitman would argue with you. If he were still alive.

Ginger: A lot of people who are no longer alive would like to argue with me.

Ruby: A lot of people who are still alive would also like to argue with you.

Ginger: They’re argumentative as armadillos.

Ruby: No armadillo is argumentative.

Ginger: You’d be surprised.

Ruby: Are you just making up similes in the desperate hope that you can make an idiom that will stick?

Ginger: No. That would be crazy.

Ruby: Crazy like a fox?

Ginger: Crazy like a moose, Dib. Crazy like a moose.

Ruby: Please don’t quote Invader Zim to me.

Ginger: Someone is as cranky as a Cornish hen.

Ruby: Not a thing.

Ginger: As literal as a hyena.

Ruby: Nope.

Ginger: As obstinate as an ostrich.

Ruby: You’re not going to give up, are you?

Ginger: I’m as set in my ways as a warthog. And that’s why we celebrate Warthog Day.

Ruby: …okay. Happy Warthog Day.


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