Ginger: Happy Belated 87th Anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre!
Fly: …is she serious?
Ruby: Yes. Here, Ginger, I made cookies for you in honor of the anniversary.
Ginger: Aww! They’re little chalk outlines!
Fly: That’s why you said I shouldn’t look in the blue tin?
Ruby: They’re chocolate with white icing and I even put some red touches on them just for you.
Ginger: You’re so good to me! Did you use your gingerbread man cookie cutter for this?
Ruby: You’re the one who suggested it, so, yes. I did.
Fly: This is just…wrong…on so many levels…
Ginger: I brought you both gifts in honor of the anniversary. I know I didn’t have to, but these were so perfect!
Fly: Is it because you made them specifically for today?
Ruby: Hush, Fly. Ginger, these are lovely T-shirts. Thank you.
Fly: Wait, why am I ‘Team Moran’ and Ruby is ‘Team Capone’?
Ruby: Don’t ask questions, just say thank you…
Fly: I meant to say “Oh. Thank you. No explanation is necessary.”
Ginger: Are you sure?
Ruby: He’s sure. Did you do any of your other traditions?
Ginger: I did. I watched Sin City and I even went out and saw Deadpool with Elle and Buddy.
Fly: Those are –
Ruby: Excellent movies to see on February 14th. I am glad to hear you had fun, Ginger.
Ginger: Thank you. Now, I’m off to spread the joy! Thanks for the cookies!
Ruby: Absolutely! Bye!
Fly: …she celebrates the anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre?
Ruby: The jewelry ads and the dating site ads really annoy her and she gets very stabby and so she decided a few years ago to celebrate the cold-blooded murder of Chicago gangsters instead. Somehow – and don’t ask me how – it helps to keep her from getting stabby.
Fly: And it’s easier to not argue with crazy.
Ruby: And yet you tried to argue when she gave us the T-shirts.
Fly: When are we going to wear these?
Ruby: We don’t. She won’t notice or care. I usually just save it for next year and give it to her then on the next anniversary.
Fly: Then why did you give her cookies?
Ruby: Because last year, she gave me red velvet cupcakes.
Fly: …oh. That’s where those came from?
Ruby: I thought you’d enjoy them more if I didn’t explain the history. And you did.
Fly: I’m never eating red velvet cupcakes again.
Ruby: I know, sweetie, I know.