Obligatory Valentines Day Post

Ginger: Happy Belated 87th Anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre!

Fly: …is she serious?

Ruby: Yes. Here, Ginger, I made cookies for you in honor of the anniversary.

Ginger: Aww! They’re little chalk outlines!

Fly: That’s why you said I shouldn’t look in the blue tin?

Ruby: They’re chocolate with white icing and I even put some red touches on them just for you.

Ginger: You’re so good to me! Did you use your gingerbread man cookie cutter for this?

Ruby: You’re the one who suggested it, so, yes. I did.

Fly: This is just…wrong…on so many levels…

Ginger: I brought you both gifts in honor of the anniversary. I know I didn’t have to, but these were so perfect!

Fly: Is it because you made them specifically for today?

Ruby: Hush, Fly. Ginger, these are lovely T-shirts. Thank you.

Fly: Wait, why am I ‘Team Moran’ and Ruby is ‘Team Capone’?

Ruby: Don’t ask questions, just say thank you…

Ginger: Well…

Fly: I meant to say “Oh. Thank you. No explanation is necessary.”

Ginger: Are you sure?

Ruby: He’s sure. Did you do any of your other traditions?

Ginger: I did. I watched Sin City and I even went out and saw Deadpool with Elle and Buddy.

Fly: Those are –

Ruby: Excellent movies to see on February 14th. I am glad to hear you had fun, Ginger.

Ginger: Thank you. Now, I’m off to spread the joy! Thanks for the cookies!

Ruby: Absolutely! Bye!

Fly: …she celebrates the anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre?

Ruby: The jewelry ads and the dating site ads really annoy her and she gets very stabby and so she decided a few years ago to celebrate the cold-blooded murder of Chicago gangsters instead. Somehow – and don’t ask me how – it helps to keep her from getting stabby.

Fly: And it’s easier to not argue with crazy.

Ruby: And yet you tried to argue when she gave us the T-shirts.

Fly: When are we going to wear these?

Ruby: We don’t. She won’t notice or care. I usually just save it for next year and give it to her then on the next anniversary.

Fly: Then why did you give her cookies?

Ruby: Because last year, she gave me red velvet cupcakes.

Fly: …oh. That’s where those came from?

Ruby: I thought you’d enjoy them more if I didn’t explain the history. And you did.

Fly: I’m never eating red velvet cupcakes again.

Ruby: I know, sweetie, I know.

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