Let’s Footloose Canada!

Ginger: I love typos.

Ruby: …your ways are strange to me.

Ginger: I had to proofread a summary report at work today that was providing information on various employment laws in various countries. It had a fascinating typo.

Ruby: Which was?

Ginger: Employers have a duty to protect employees from dancers that could reasonably be expected to cause injury or illness.

Ruby: Huh.

Ginger: It’s supposed to be “dangers,” not “dancers.”

Ruby: I don’t know…dancers are pretty tricky.

Ginger: While this is true, it’s probably not what Canada was trying to spell out.

Ruby: Are you sure? Canada is not known for its whimsy. Maybe they really distrust dancers.

Ginger: Hm…

Ruby: What are you doing?

Ginger: I’m trying to think of famous Canadian dancers.

Ruby: Have you come up with any? No cheating – stay off Wikipedia.


Ruby: Um…that’s…

Ginger: We need to Footloose Canadia. Right now. Let’s go.

Ruby: Wait – we need a second opinion. I have a co-worker who spends half the year in Alberta. Let me text her before you start breaking out your…I don’t even know what to expect from you right now…

Ginger: Hair gel? Excessive bracelets? Walkman? Kenny Loggins? All of these would be correct guesses.

Ruby: I can’t believe I just texted my co-worker – who often carpools with me – if she can confirm or deny dancing is illegal in Canada…

Ginger: Ahh, the context-free-text-bomb…I’m finally rubbing off on you!

Ruby: Still no reply.

Ginger: Tell her if it is illegal, we’ll need to Footloose Canadia.

Ruby: No. I’m…just no.

Ginger: It’s like you want me to get arrested for kicking off my Sunday shoes and asking Louise to pull me offa my knees.

Ruby: Or she’s away from her phone. Or she thinks I’m drunk.

Ginger: The wait is killing me!

Ruby: Oh! She wrote back…

Ginger: What did she say?

Ruby: “Denied.”

Ginger: Wait…maybe she was denying our plan to Footloose Canadia!

Ruby: “Our” plan?

Ginger: THEY GOT TO HER, RUBY! We need to Footloose …what’s your friend’s name?

Ruby: Daisy.

Ginger: WE NEED TO FOOTLOOSE DAISY! Quickly! To the KevinBaconMobike!

Ruby: If there was such a thing as “the KevinBaconMobike,” I still would not be getting on it.

Ginger: Yes, you would.

Ruby: Nope.

Ginger: What if it’s a KevinBaconMobike built for two?

Ruby: Not even, and maybe especially not, then.

Ginger: Is it because you think it’s shaped like Kevin Bacon or because you think it’s made out of Kevin Bacon?

Ruby: …your brain goes to very strange places. I was not thinking of either option.

Ginger: Your fear of a bicycle built for two, by Kevin Bacon, is unfounded and unfair to Kevin Bacon.

Ruby: Kevin Bacon is not a bicycle builder.

Ginger: You can’t know that for sure.

Ruby: I can. And do.


Ruby: There are some degrees of separation…

Ginger: ME TOO! How else do you think I got the KevinBaconMobike?

Ruby: I’m sorry – who is steering this monstrosity in your world view?

Ginger: …Kevin Bacon?

Ruby: I don’t think so.

Ginger: …me?

Ruby: I am not getting on a bicycle built for two, steered by you. Self preservation forbids it.

Ginger: HEY! I resemble that remark!

Ruby: I know.


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