Calendar Lies

Ruby: Here you are!

Ginger: …yes. It’s very strange – sometimes I actually am found in my own home.

Ruby: I have been looking everywhere for you!

Ginger: Did you try my own home?

Ruby: Yes. Just now. And here you are.

Ginger: Ta-da!

Ruby: Where were you Monday? I made a chicken casserole because I thought you’d be dropping by and then you didn’t and so Fly and I have been having re-heated chicken casserole lunches all week.

Ginger: We didn’t have a Monday this week.

Ruby: …yes, we did. It was that day that happened between Sunday and Tuesday.

Ginger: No, that day wasn’t real. You hallucinated it.

Ruby: Nope, that is not what happened. There was chicken casserole. And it was not a hallucination.

Ginger: If there was a Monday this week, then why did I stay in my pajamas all day and do housework as the mood struck me?

Ruby: I don’t know, but I’m going to guess it’s because your manager lets you slide a lot more than he should.

Ginger: While that is not outside the possibilities of truth, it’s not what happened. There was no Monday this week.

Ruby: Wait…Ginger, we’ve been over this before, I’m sure of it…this is a leap year.

Ginger: No, Ruby, it’s the Year of the Monkey. My acupuncturist’s husband told me.

Ruby: While that is true, it is also a leap year. There were 29 days in February this year.

Ginger: February does not have more than 28 days.

Ruby: Every four years, it does. But just one day more than usual.

Ginger: That’s not possible. Does October suddenly get 32 days this year? Does March get 34?

Ruby: …why would March get 34 days if we’re just adding one to each month?

Ginger: Well, obviously June doesn’t want to add a day to her busy schedule and she thought March was collecting for February, who’s always been –

Ruby: Stop. I don’t even know why I asked.

Ginger: It’s not like July was going to give up his extra day…

Ruby: Not listening. Crazy Filter is set to ‘On.’

Ginger: You did ask.

Ruby: And I have learned. So, you’re seriously denying February 29 happened?

Ginger: It wasn’t a real day. Until you start giving out extra days to all the months, February is just going to have to make do with what she has.

Ruby: You realize that by denying February 29 exists once every four years, you’re denying all the leap year babies out there a special gift of celebrating things like being the only 4-year-olds in the world who can legally drive.

Ginger: …that is pretty cool…

Ruby: And when they’re halfway through being 5-year-olds, they can drink legally in the United States.

Ginger: That sounds like an awesome superpower.

Ruby: Well, like any superpower, it still comes with – okay, I can’t take it. February and June are girls, but July is a boy??

Ginger: Obviously.

Ruby: Is there a reason?

Ginger: Is ‘Because’ a reason?

Ruby: …I have to get my Crazy Filter checked…


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