Always Charge Your iPad

Ginger: Ruby, are you home?

Ruby: I’m back here, Ginger…

Ginger: How come you never answer the door when I knock anymore?

Ruby: Well, for one thing, you never knock anymore.

Ginger: Oh, yeah. What plans do you have for this evening? There’s a movie I want to see and I think you’ll enjoy it, too.

Ruby: Actually, I’m waiting for Fly to call.

Ginger: Is he at the hospital?

Ruby: No, he’s visiting his parents this weekend.

Ginger: Don’t you normally go with when he does this sort of crazy thing?

Ruby: Yes, but someone had to be here to make sure you were fed and watered regularly this weekend.

Ginger: I resent that remark.

Ruby: Isn’t it C2E2 this weekend?

Ginger: …I resemble that remark.

Ruby: Better.

(the phone rings)

Ruby: Ooh! Fly’s calling!

Ginger: Put him on speaker!

Ruby: Hi, Fly – Ginger demanded I put you on speaker!

Ginger: I never said to tell him he was on speaker.

Fly: I can tell. It sounds different.

Ginger: Maybe she’s driving through a tunnel.

Fly: On the landline?

Ruby: Ignore the crazy woman. How was your flight?

Fly: My iPad died just as we boarded. Didn’t we charge the battery last night?

Ruby: …um…I thought so? Maybe we only charged mine.

Ginger: So you were forced to watch the in-flight movie?

Fly: …um…no. I found I had a…book…in my carry-on.

Ruby: Oh? What book was – OH!

Fly: Yeah.

Ginger: Did you slip a book into your husband’s carry-on?

Ruby: It was still in there from the last time I used that bag! How far did you get in it?

Ginger: What book was it?

Fly: I don’t know – the cover was missing.

Ruby: That was probably a blessing…

Fly: Yes. Yes, it was.

Ginger: What kind of book was it?

Ruby: What kind of book do I travel with?

Fly: I can’t believe you read this…in public!

Ginger: Well, it’s something we can easily pick up and put down and doesn’t require a lot of thought or attention…

Ruby: They’re short, for the most part, and I always find the ones with some humor…

Ginger: Sometimes, if you get the right author, characters from one book will appear in another, slightly related book…

Fly: I don’t think it’s my kind of reading material.

Ginger: So did you finish it?

Fly: Well…there was nothing else to do…

Ruby: So what did you think?

Fly: I think there’s a lot more adjectives, euphemisms and adverbs than necessary in one chapter alone.

Ginger: Yeah, but what did you think?

Fly: Let me see if I can put this in terms you’ll both understand…do you remember that episode of Frasier where Daphne is sick and Martin reads her romance novel out loud to her?

Ginger: Yeah…

Ruby: Oh, yeah! That was pretty funny…

Fly: Yeah. That was me on the plane.

Ruby: I’m sorry…

Ginger: …but you finished it.

Fly: Well…yeah. It was…compelling…sort of…

Ginger: I have the perfect book to lend you for your next trip!

Fly: Ruby?

Ruby: Yes, Fly?

Fly: Don’t let her help me pack for future trips.

Ruby: She does have some good books…

Fly: Ginger?

Ginger: Yes, Fly?

Fly: Stop lending my wife books of this nature.

Ginger: …………………………….fine.

Ruby: I think I remember that book…was the main character named after a rare flower?

Fly: …yes.

Ginger: Oh, I remember that one! And her father was a gardener, but really, he owned the estate and never told her, right?

Ruby: Yeah! Fly – great news!

Fly: …your father owns a huge plot of land that he loves to wander around, tending to the flora himself and somewhere in the midst of this land, he, buried a ruby-covered chest of gold that will someday be inherited by you but only after you conceive your first daughter?

Ginger: …wow, he really did read the whole book…

Ruby: Better! I have the next three books in that series! You can find out what happened to the sister and two brothers of the duke!

Fly: …wow…I’m…so…overwhelmed…

Ruby: I knew you would be!

Ginger: It’s a new hobby you both can share!

Fly: …or not.


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