Ruby: Okay, she says she’s near a blue house.
Fly: That helps.
Ruby: It’s more helpful than the last text that said she saw a tree.
Fly: Out of curiosity, why didn’t we put a tracker on her when we realized she could do something like this?
Ruby: I didn’t know she knew how to turn off the tracking function in her phone.
Fly: …we could buy her a necklace. And tell her it has magic powers.
Ruby: Does it make her invisible? That will be the first question she asks – I promise.
Fly: But the magic necklace would ensure we could find her! No matter where she goes!
Ruby: She says the blue house might be a museum.
Fly: I said it helps before…
Ruby: You know of a blue house museum? In this area?
Fly: I’ve driven this stretch before.
Ruby: And you remember a blue house museum?
Fly: It’s not technically a museum.
Ruby: Is it the Hannibal Convention and Visitors Bureau?
Fly: Yes. Yes, it is.
Ruby: I’m texting her that we’re going to buy her a necklace…
Fly: Please do. A magic necklace.
Ruby: If I do that, she will ask if it makes her invisible!
Fly: It will make her always visible to you and me. And her parents, if we choose to share the tracking device website login with her.
Ruby: …is that what you were researching online when we drove through Peoria?
Fly: I think I found a good one within a reasonable budget.
Ruby: I’m so scared…wait, what exactly is my wedding band?
Fly: You’ve never wandered across state lines looking for a bathroom that has green tiled floors.
Ruby: I explained that to you. She thought she remembered green tiled bathroom floors in a rest stop near her brother’s house.
Fly: That’s not really comforting.
Ruby: Look! There she is!
Fly: …did she have luggage when she left her home to come to us for dinner?
Ginger: There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Why didn’t you drive the black car? Is the necklace really magic or just a trick to put a tracking device on me so this never happens again? A real magic necklace would make me invisible. Or change into any animal I’m thinking of. Or give me mind-reading abilities.
Ruby: We don’t own a black car.
Ginger: ………oh, Ruby. When did you lose the black car?
Fly: When was the last time you ate?
Ginger: About twenty minutes ago, I had some gummi worms.
Ruby: Ginger, is that all you’ve eaten since Friday?
Ginger: No, don’t be silly!
Ruby: Wait for it…
Ginger: I had some gummi bears, too.
Ruby: When did you pick up the suitcase?
Ginger: Probably in Florida. Or Paris. There was a wrong turn made when the bus driver got lost in my retelling of an episode of Knight Rider. And then I went shopping as long as we were trying to get the bus out of the mud.
Fly: Can we go home now? Please?
Ginger: I bought you presents as a sign of my gratitude for your troubles.
Ruby: That’s very kind of you, Ginger.
Fly: You can have those back, now, Ginger.
Ginger: But I bought them for you in Cairo!
Ruby: I have got to buy you a map…or a globe…or explain how buses work…
Fly: I believe you, Ginger.
Ginger: And so now you’ll accept these lovely owl statues that I bought for you?
Fly: I’m still not onboard with those. They have crazy eyes.
Ginger: I know! They might come to life in the middle of the night and eat the neighbor’s dog!
Ruby: Yeah, you’re going to keep them for us.
Ginger: Did you want a T-shirt that says “Cairo, MO” or one that says “Visit Paris, Missouri” or one that says “Get Me Out Of My Missouri” or—
Ruby: I get the world travel in one state thing now.
Fly: I’m glad you caught on. I was going to have to buy you a map.
Ginger: No need! I can just give you this one. I don’t think I’ll be coming back to Missouri without you anytime soon…
Ruby: Good plan.
Ginger: However, I did learn Canada is an actual country and we don’t have to fly there! We can drive!
Fly: So, Ginger…Ruby and I were talking about buying you a necklace…
Ruby: A magic necklace…
Ginger: Go on…