Yolk’s On Ewwwww…

Ruby: Good morning, this is…oh, hi, Ginger.

Ginger: Ruby, I have an emergency and I need you to answer me honestly!

Ruby: Just surrender to the authorities, Ginger. It really will go easier on you in the long run.

Ginger: …yeah, I’m not going to call you if I’m ever on the run. You give terrible advice.

Ruby: At least I answer the phone.

Ginger: This is not about you right now. Okay? This is about my emergency.

Ruby: One red sock really will turn all your white shirts pink.

Ginger: …too little, too late on that. And I apologized to Fly.

Ruby: Yes. And he appreciated the muffin basket.

Ginger: About baked goods…

Ruby: Is this related to your emergency?

Ginger: Yes.

Ruby: Are you in my kitchen?

Ginger: No.

Ruby: Are you in Elle’s kitchen?

Ginger: No.

Ruby: Are you in your sister’s kitchen?

Ginger: I do not have a death wish. I am in my kitchen.

Ruby: …so you’re lost? Just tell me what you see and I’ll give you directions to get out of there.

Ginger: Very funny. I’m looking at a cake mix and it calls for 3 egg whites.

Ruby: Why are you looking at a cake mix?

Ginger: There was a challenge issued and I don’t want to get into it at this point in time.

Ruby: Okay. Tell me you didn’t fry the eggs so you could cut the white part off and use that.

Ginger: …so, onto Plan L, then…

Ruby: Get a slotted spoon, crack the egg over the spoon and the yolk will get caught, but the white will slip through.

Ginger: …you can AIM where the egg’s insides go?!

Ruby: Or buy egg whites in the store.

Ginger: No, I can’t do that. The challenge was to bake a cake from scratch.

Ruby: Did you say ‘from scratch’? And you’re using a cake mix?

Ginger: Yes.

Ruby: That’s not ‘from scratch.’

Ginger: Sure it is. I had to scratch open the box to get the cake mix baggie out.

Ruby: Ginger, ‘from scratch’ means you don’t use a box mix at all. You use flour, sugar, eggs…

Ginger: Does this mean I have to go on to Plan M?

Ruby: It depends. Who has to bake it for you in Plan M?

Ginger: No, no. Plan M is go off the grid, hide in the mountains, live off the land and wait until the challenger dies of old age.

Ruby: By ‘live off the land,’ do you mean ‘order delivery to a not-so-remote cabin’?

Ginger: More or less. And probably just for a long weekend. I can’t really afford to outlive this woman.

Ruby: This weekend?

Ginger: Yeah. Wanna come with? The hotel review says the wifi signal is clear and there’s a spa with 18 different types of massage available.

Ruby: …count me in. I’ll live off the land like that for a weekend. Quick question, though – how is that ‘going off the grid’?

Ginger: Oh, the nearest town was built before the grid system became popular. The roads are all winding and there’s not really a lot of organization in the street layout.

Ruby: Right.


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