Ruby: Good morning, Ginger, have some coffee.
Ginger: Why are you making me wake up? It’s Colombo Day.
Ruby: Columbus Day. And I’m making you wake up because you still have to go to work.
Ginger: The office should be closed in honor of Colombia Day.
Ruby: Columbus Day and it’s not. You tried to do this last year, and it didn’t work then. Why would you think it would work this time?
Ginger: I wrote a letter.
Ruby: Did you get a response?
Ginger: No. I assumed no response meant acquiescence.
Ruby: That’s not how it works. Here, drink some coffee and let’s get you going.
Ginger: But why? It’s an office job. How could it possibly make any difference if I skip a day on which we celebrate the movie Colombiana?
Ruby: That’s not what Columbus Day is. I really hope you didn’t include your interpretation of the bank holiday in your letter.
Ginger: Not completely. I wrote about how most of the office work I complete is done under the impression there is a banana at the end of the day and that other minions are fighting to get to it first.
Ruby: …minions? Like the little yellow guys in blue jumpsuits?
Ginger: And then I talked about how once in a while, it’s important to get outside and find out where the best bananas grow, to go there and see the bananas sprouting up from the earth…
Ruby: That’s not how bananas grow.
Ginger: And when the opportunity is provided to us, like in the form of a holiday, we should all take it with as many hands as possible and live life to the fullest banana.
Ruby: Weird that it didn’t work.
Ginger: I know. I even put it on banana scented stationery.
Ruby: And so now we know where you went wrong. Upper management people hate banana-scented stationery.
Ginger: Well, now I know for next time.