Your Definition of ‘Outdoors’ Confuses Me

Ruby: I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.

Ginger: I know. You are usually more resistant to my charming persuasion.

Ruby: You have un-charming persuasion?

Ginger: It usually involves abduction of a beloved stuffed animal, some twine, photos sent from a blocked number and a ransom note emailed from a coworker’s computer.

Ruby: Speaking of that, when do I get my Care Bear back?

Ginger: …….is your Care Bear missing? Maybe you should succumb and bake those cookies that – I assume – were requested in that ransom note my coworker emailed you. Five months ago.

Ruby: Moving on. You convinced me to take a sick day from work so we can enjoy this beautiful bright autumn day. Let’s enjoy it.

Ginger: Fantastic! I have all the movies lined up. First, we will watch (500) Days of Summer and then Iron Giant and then–

Ruby: Whoa! Hold up! If we are taking the day off to enjoy the autumn day, why are we spending it inside watching movies?

Ginger: Because the movies I chose have beautiful outdoor experiences that show off the best of autumn. Well, admittedly, the first movie is to help transition us from summer to autumn, but you’ll understand better once you see the movie.

Ruby: We are going to the park for a walk. Through actual nature. With real trees and leaves.

Ginger: But Hollywood makes them look better. And I’m not allergic to movie trees.

Ruby: Your seasonal allergies haven’t kicked in yet. We are going outside.

Ginger: …through the magic of movies and a really big TV screen?

Ruby: Nope. Through the door and to the outside.

Ginger: At this rate, your Care Bear may never come home in one piece.

Ruby: If you cut off one of Share Bear’s ears, you will regret it.

Ginger: I would never! But I will pass along your threats to my coworker. Who clearly kidnapped your childhood toy. And let you assume it was me.

Ruby: Yeah. Shoes on. I have the picnic lunch packed and the perfect park picked out for our walk.

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