If We Went to the Zoo More Often, I’d Have Fewer Wedding Invitations

Ginger: Hey, Ruby, do you know what would be super fun?

Ruby: We’re not stopping at the zoo, Ginger. We have errands to run.

Ginger: But, what if we could accomplish some errands at the zoo?

Ruby: I doubt the elephants can renew your license.

Ginger: Have you asked?

Ruby: I have. They said they used to, but the zebras got all jealous because they only handle parking tickets.

Ginger: The zebras don’t handle parking tickets.

Ruby: Not anymore.

Ginger: Are you trying to distract me so I don’t continue to pester you about going to the zoo?

Ruby: No. Not at all. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Ginger: …you’re not as subtle as you hope to be.

Ruby: No, but I am successful in my efforts.

Ginger: There are more opportunities to avoid being an adult! I have so many possible distractions!

Ruby: We’re not going to the movies. You still need to renew your driver’s license. And I have to get groceries.

Ginger: But being a responsible adult is boring!

Ruby: Well, it doesn’t have to be…

Ginger: No, but every time I suggest a new way to make it less boring, you tell me it’s not okay to react like that or something.

Ruby: Ginger, you spent forty-five minutes giving make-up tips to the bank teller. And forgot to make the deposit you went into the bank to complete in the first place.

Ginger: We went back…

Ruby: Where you spent another hour discussing Stranger Things and Supernatural with the bank manager while waiting to see the bank teller’s first attempt to correct her make-up.

Ginger: So, you’re saying that in order to be a responsible adult, I can’t engage in conversation with the people who are clearly bored in their own daily tasks?

Ruby: You can engage, but you always seem to find a way to take it beyond just engaging…

Ginger: It’s just common conversation etiquette. ‘Hi, how are you? My, what a lovely shade of eyeshadow you’re wearing.’

Ruby: Yes, but then you take it further…

Ginger: Suggesting she treat her eyes like sunsets instead of spotlights? It helped, though…we all agreed.

Ruby: …okay, yes, that’s true, she looked much better, but—

Ginger: Plus, she got into the bank manager training program now that the branch manager took her more seriously.

Ruby: Okay, true, but…wait…

Ginger: I stop in once a week now to see how she’s doing. Her boyfriend proposed to her last week. They’re thinking August wedding, so I have to make sure I’m in town that weekend.

Ruby: This is part of that whole “taking it beyond just engaging” thing I just mentioned.

Ginger: Well, where does it end? If you don’t talk to people like they’re people, then you just have people treating one another like automatons and stepping on each other to get to the next task.

Ruby: Okay, here’s the deal. Today, just go in and say you’re here to renew your license.

Ginger: But I never drive!

Ruby: You never know when you’ll need to drive. So just go in and say you’re here to renew your license.

Ginger: Aren’t you coming in with me?

Ruby: No, I have to go get groceries. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Try to avoid getting invited to more weddings of strangers.

Ginger: No promises.


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