This Is Why She Shouldn’t Contribute

Ginger: I feel bad you always make dinner for me… I feel like I should contribute once or twice a year…

Ruby: You contribute to Thanksgiving with your family every year. I feel that qualifies as contributing to Thanksgiving in my home, as well.

Ginger: But I can make dinner sometime…how about tonight?

Ruby: Um…what will you “cook” for me and Fly?

Ginger: I have some skills…

Ruby: Really? Because, last I checked, you didn’t know why your oven didn’t have an on-switch.

Ginger: I just decided. It’s Hot Dog Wednesday!

Ruby: …I don’t think that’s a thing.

Ginger: It could be if you’d let it happen.

Ruby: Why Wednesday?

Ginger: Hot Dog Tuesday just sounds like you’re trying too hard.

Ruby: But shouldn’t it be alliterative? Like, I don’t know, Wonton Soup Wednesday?

Ginger: I don’t like wonton soup.

Ruby: Some people do.

Ginger: That’s nice for those people.

Ruby: Maybe some people don’t like hot dogs.

Ginger: Well, fine, Ruby. How about…‘Wurst Wednesday? You can have any ‘wurst you want. Bratwurst, liverwurst…hot dog-wurst…

Ruby: No, ‘Wurst Wednesday sounds too much like WORST Wednesday. And you made it about hot dogs again.

Ginger: Name another food that begins with a W.

Ruby: Welsh Rarebit.

Ginger: Too complicated.

Ruby: White clam chowder.

Ginger: I…doubt I could make that.

Ruby: Wild rice medley.

Ginger: Does it come in a box?

Ruby: Wheat thins and cheese?

Ginger: That sounds like part of Wine Wednesday.

Ruby: Wine Wednesday could be a thing…

Ginger: Great! It’s Wine Wednesday. Bring some Wheat Thins and cheese. I’ll make hot dogs!

Ruby: Where does the wine come from? Me or you?

Ginger: I could whine…

Ruby: I’ll bring something. I promise.

Ginger: I think I can make the wild rice medley…

Ruby: Really?

Ginger: Yeah – I just found it in a box with instructions!

Ruby: …how old is that box?

Ginger: I dunno. My mom probably gave it to me the day I moved out. Rice doesn’t go bad, does it?

Ruby: I will bring Wheat Thins. Please do not make that rice.

Ginger: Does rice normally make scratching noises from inside the box?

Ruby: THROW IT OUT! NOW!!

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