Not Enough Post-Its

Ginger: Oh, good! You’re home!

Ruby: Ginger, what is this?

Ginger: I wasn’t sure if you were home yet, so I was debating leaving the box of cookies in your mailbox.

Ruby: My mailbox is too small for this box of cookies…

Ginger: I saw that, so I was going to leave it on your doorstep instead, but then I was worried someone might be walking by and want the cookies.

Ruby: …so you put a Post-It on the box that says “Don’t Steal These Cookies”?

Ginger: Yeah.

Ruby: Did you think the Post-It was going to be a good deterrent?

Ginger: Yes. It worked when my coworker left a DVD he borrowed on the desk.

Ruby: Your coworker left a DVD with a Post-It that said “Don’t Steal These Cookies” on your desk?

Ginger: No, it just said “Don’t Steal.” I was at lunch and told him I’d stop by to pick up the DVD on my way back. But he had a meeting and was worried I’d kill him if someone else picked up the DVD while he was away.

Ruby: So this is your new theory? You can just leave things out with a Post-It that says “Don’t Steal” and that will…work?

Ginger: We could try it with your car…?

Ruby: I don’t want to try it with my car.

Ginger: Look, the thing is, it works in its simplicity. Just put a Post-It that says “Don’t Steal” on something and people will have to do what the Post-It says.

Ruby: What if they take the Post-It off?

Ginger: We’ll put a Post-It that says “Don’t Remove Post-It” on the Post-It that says “Don’t Steal.” This is really where the world has gone wrong. There just weren’t enough Post-Its on the things that needed to be not stolen.

Ruby: We’re still not putting a Post-It on my car.

Ginger: But no one will steal it if we do.

Ruby: I have one more question before we get back to why I’m not putting a Post-It on my car.

Ginger: Why did I bring you a shoebox full of cookies?

Ruby: Why DID you bring a shoebox full of cookies?

Ginger: I had insomnia last night, so I made cookies at one in the morning.

Ruby: This is a SHOEBOX full of cookies.

Ginger: There are more where that came from.

Ruby: …are they edible?

Ginger: I…sincerely doubt it. I had to make some substitutions to the recipe.

Ruby: Such as?

Ginger: I didn’t have vanilla extract, so I melted some vanilla ice cream.

Ruby: I have a Post-It for you. You’ll need to put it on your cookbook when  you get home tonight.

Ginger: Does it say “Don’t Steal?”

Ruby: No. It says “Don’t Use Unsupervised.”

Ginger: Yeah…it should probably go on my pots and pans cabinet, too.

Ruby: I’ll make extras.

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