Ginger: Oh, good! You’re home!
Ruby: Ginger, what is this?
Ginger: I wasn’t sure if you were home yet, so I was debating leaving the box of cookies in your mailbox.
Ruby: My mailbox is too small for this box of cookies…
Ginger: I saw that, so I was going to leave it on your doorstep instead, but then I was worried someone might be walking by and want the cookies.
Ruby: …so you put a Post-It on the box that says “Don’t Steal These Cookies”?
Ruby: Did you think the Post-It was going to be a good deterrent?
Ginger: Yes. It worked when my coworker left a DVD he borrowed on the desk.
Ruby: Your coworker left a DVD with a Post-It that said “Don’t Steal These Cookies” on your desk?
Ginger: No, it just said “Don’t Steal.” I was at lunch and told him I’d stop by to pick up the DVD on my way back. But he had a meeting and was worried I’d kill him if someone else picked up the DVD while he was away.
Ruby: So this is your new theory? You can just leave things out with a Post-It that says “Don’t Steal” and that will…work?
Ginger: We could try it with your car…?
Ruby: I don’t want to try it with my car.
Ginger: Look, the thing is, it works in its simplicity. Just put a Post-It that says “Don’t Steal” on something and people will have to do what the Post-It says.
Ruby: What if they take the Post-It off?
Ginger: We’ll put a Post-It that says “Don’t Remove Post-It” on the Post-It that says “Don’t Steal.” This is really where the world has gone wrong. There just weren’t enough Post-Its on the things that needed to be not stolen.
Ruby: We’re still not putting a Post-It on my car.
Ginger: But no one will steal it if we do.
Ruby: I have one more question before we get back to why I’m not putting a Post-It on my car.
Ginger: Why did I bring you a shoebox full of cookies?
Ruby: Why DID you bring a shoebox full of cookies?
Ginger: I had insomnia last night, so I made cookies at one in the morning.
Ruby: This is a SHOEBOX full of cookies.
Ginger: There are more where that came from.
Ruby: …are they edible?
Ginger: I…sincerely doubt it. I had to make some substitutions to the recipe.
Ruby: Such as?
Ginger: I didn’t have vanilla extract, so I melted some vanilla ice cream.
Ruby: I have a Post-It for you. You’ll need to put it on your cookbook when you get home tonight.
Ginger: Does it say “Don’t Steal?”
Ruby: No. It says “Don’t Use Unsupervised.”
Ginger: Yeah…it should probably go on my pots and pans cabinet, too.
Ruby: I’ll make extras.