Ruby: Ginger, I don’t care how much you cry. I’m still not acknowledging a lack of ice cream as a full-blown tragedy.
Ginger: But my freezer is NEVER without ice cream, Ruby! This is the most devastating thing that has happened to me in the past five minutes!
Ruby: I appreciate the fact you’re honest.
Ginger: Well, my mother taught me to be reasonable in little things.
Ruby: That didn’t carry over into the rest of your life?
Ginger: …why would it?
Ruby: No reason. Carry on. Or…actually…don’t…
Ginger: I forgot what we were talking about anyway.
Ruby: Oh, good. Hmm…
Ginger: What is it?
Ruby: This? This is my credit card bill.
Ginger: Oh. They bill you for credit cards?
Ruby: Only when you use them.
Ginger: Oh. What if someone borrowed your credit card to buy something for you?
Ruby: My credit card bill is suddenly making a little bit more sense…
Ginger: Look, you can’t be too mad. It’s a present for you.
Ruby: What is this present, Ginger?
Ginger: Why would you think I know anything about a present for you, Ruby?
Ruby: Probably because you brought it up, Ginger.
Ginger: Maybe I was speaking hypothetically, Ruby.
Ruby: You don’t know how to speak hypothetically, Ginger. You’ve proven that multiple times in the past.
Ginger: Maybe I took lessons, Ruby. Maybe that’s a gift we can all appreciate.
Ruby: I promise I won’t be mad.
Ginger: Ever? That’s a big promise.
Ruby: Just tell me what you bought.
Ginger: Okay, first of all? It was not actually my idea.
Ginger: It wasn’t my idea!
Fly: Hey, I’m home…what’s…going on?
Ruby: Take a look at our credit card bill.
Fly: …you said you could get to the mail before her.
Ginger: You said you’d remind me because I …don’t remember how you got to it, but somehow over caffeinated squirrels were brought into the conversation.
Ruby: Wait, what?
Ginger: Not literally. He was speaking metaphorically. Or in similes. I don’t remember the exact words he used.
Ruby: No, what is going on?
Fly: I bought you a present.
Ginger: But I got to help!
Fly: I needed Ginger to help pick out the right one.
Fly: She said she could catch the credit card bill before you opened it so I could pay it before you saw it.
Ruby: Yeah…she agrees to a lot of things when she’s not paying attention.
Ginger: I can do that. No problem. …wait, what?
Fly: That sounds familiar.
Ruby: I hear it a lot, too.
Fly: Your present won’t be here for another few days…
Ginger: I have the tracking number, though. I texted it to you just now when you two were talking.
Ruby: HOORAY! TRACKING NUMBERS!
Fly: Wow, you weren’t kidding…
Ginger: I told you stalking her mail is one of her favorite pastimes.
Ruby: Oooh..it left Michigan yesterday morning at 7:24 AM….
Fly: Did you discuss dinner?
Ginger: No. But we did discuss dessert…which…AUGH! RUBY! I FORGOT TO BUY ICE CREAM!!!! THIS IS A TRAGEDY!!!!