Put A Little Iron Birdhouse, Lined With Salt, In Your Soul

Ginger: I still can’t believe you lied to me about spider cities.

Ruby: I still can’t believe you believed me. You said it yourself – spiders are not social creatures.

Ginger: Still…webworm just sounds like something worse.

Ruby: Can we move on?

Ginger: Sure. Have you finished Stranger Things yet?

Ruby: I have not.

Ginger: Have you started Stranger Things yet?

Ruby: I have not.

Ginger: You’re only delaying the inevitable.

Ruby: Ginger, I can sleep at night. Even when the Christmas lights you strung up on the wall blink.

Ginger: That was ONE TIME.

Ruby: …one time that you strung up the Christmas lights? Because I seem to recall three nights in a row when you—

Ginger: Let’s move on.

Ruby: Okay.

Ginger: What are you looking at?

Ruby: Oh, a friend went to Portugal and sent back some pictures…

Ginger: That one’s really cool.

Ruby: Yeah. She said this is the forest where they filmed Twilight.

Ginger: Less cool…wait…go back…that’s very cool.

Ruby: Really? You’re suddenly a Twilight fan?

Ginger: Absolutely not. But look at that flimsy thing…in the corner…

Ruby: …yeah?

Ginger: That’s in the second photo, too, but…it moved… Ruby, that could be spirit photography.

Ruby: Come again?

Ginger: This ethereal image is on both pictures, but while the subject doesn’t move, the ethereal thing does…

Ruby: Ginger, that looks like a reflection in glass…

Ginger: Yeah, but there’s no indication anywhere else that this photo was taken from behind glass.

Ruby: Um. It looks like a reflection in a window to me.

Ginger: You’re looking at it with untrained eyes. I have watched all 12 seasons of Supernatural and the first season of Stranger Things. I have a highly trained eye.

Ruby: Okay. But your “ghost” is wearing a Fitbit®.

Ginger: Fads can extend to the afterlife, too.

Ruby: This fad is getting out of control.

Ginger: Well, fine, maybe a Twi-hard went looking for Edward wearing her fitness tracker and tripped over a vine and broke her neck or something and now is doomed to rack up steps in her eternal quest for an actor in a lot of glittery make-up.

Ruby: Do ghosts even have feet?

Ginger: Um…sometimes? The ghosts on Supernatural typically do. But that’s probably because actors are very timid when it comes to cutting off their own feet for a single-episode gig.

Ruby: Weird.

Ginger: Also? You don’t have to have feet to fool a fitness tracker. I know someone who cheats by swinging his arms around a lot.

Ruby: Huh.

Ginger: I bet a ghost would be into that. Especially if she doesn’t have feet.

Ruby: I now have an image of a ghost wandering around the woods in Portugal, windmilling her arms.

Ginger: And now you have photographic evidence!

Ruby: …of my friend taking a picture from inside her car.

Ginger: You need to watch more Supernatural.

Ruby: You need to get a better nightlight.

Ginger: I’m looking for a blue canary for the outlet by the lightswitch!

Ruby: Who watches over you?

Ginger: Exactly!

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