Dragons Like Coffee, Too

Ruby: Please tell me there’s a reason you have a skeletal rat in a black hood greeting people at your front door.

Ginger: That’s the Death of Rats.

Ruby: …please tell me there’s a reason.

Ginger: There’s a reason.

Ruby: ………what’s the reason?

Ginger: Well, Death retired, see, but you can’t have an absence of death, so versions of Death started popping up all over to cover the many deaths and —

Ruby: No. Not THAT reason. What is the reason the Death of Rats is greeting your visitors?

Ginger: Well, he’s very good at it.

Ruby: Is it going to get put away after Halloween?

Ginger: Why would I put the Death of Rats anywhere else? He’s happy where he is.

Ruby: Right. He’s slightly unsettling, though.

Ginger: …really? But he smiles. Smiles are comforting.

Ruby: What if I get you a different….greeter? Maybe you could move the Death of Rats to a room where those of a stronger disposition can find him.

Ginger: There was a stone Jawa with glow-in-the-dark eyes that looked like fun…

Ruby: Or….maybe something….else. Like a dog.

Ginger: A Hellhound?

Ruby: Or…a welcome mat.

Ginger: I have one somewhere…I think it says something about dragons. Or coffee?

Ruby: How can you confuse the two?

Ginger: How can you not feel welcomed by the Death of Rats?

Ruby: …where is Lightbulb?

Ginger: Hiding somewhere, I guess.

Ruby: Hiding?

Ginger: Yeah, he refuses to go near the front door now. I’m not sure why. It’s the Death of RATS…not Chickens.

Ruby: You know that not everyone reads Terry Pratchett novels, right?

Ginger: …do you think it would help if I read Reaper Man to him?

Ruby: I think I need to stop letting you go shopping in the Halloween section of a store by yourself.

Ginger: Good luck.


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