Oh, Autocorrect, You Saucy Minx

Fly: Where’s your phone?

Ruby: I left it at home. I only realized it after we were getting out of the car, but I figured you have your phone, so who else would I need to call?

Fly: Ginger is texting me.

Ruby: Oh. Right.

Fly: She’s having computer problems, apparently, and…. I don’t think that’s right.

Ruby: What does it say?

Fly: “The demon in my computer has refused to acknowledge I am the superior being with a college degree & thusly moused its screen at me.”

Ruby: Tell her I will call her when I get home.

Fly: Do you really think that will work?

Ruby: No, but it will buy us some time to cross a few things off the grocery list.

Fly: You know her better than me…

Ruby: Only a little. Here, this granola has dried berries in it.

Fly: Get the other one.

Ruby: Okay…

Fly: What did she mean by “moused its screen at her”?

Ruby: The computer version of thumbed its nose.

Fly: Ah. Oh, she wrote back.

Ruby: Okay…?

Fly: …I don’t…I’m just going to read this out loud and hope it makes sense.

Ruby: Ooh, these are on sale…

Fly: “If it helps, I can send some sensual screenshots to you.”

Ruby: …she’s gonna what?

Fly: Oh, a follow-up… She was Autocorrected. She……hee, hee, hee….

Ruby: What?

Fly: Here… You read it…

Ruby: …….how did…oh, she’s calling now… I’ll put her on speaker. Hello?

Ginger: I SENT FLY A PROVOCATIVE TEXT AND IT’S ALL AUTOCORRECT’S FAULT!!!

Ruby: What did you mean to send him?

Ginger: I TRIED TO SEND “IF IT HELPS, I CAN SEND SOME SERIES OF SCREENSHOTS TO YOU” AND IT TURNED INTO SOMETHING ELSE!!!

Ruby: Well, it sounds like your phone wants to get very close with my husband’s phone. Should we have a talk with them?

Fly: I want to know what sensual screenshots would look like…are there candles softening the Minesweeper’s “come hither” look?

Ginger: MINESWEEPER DOES NOT WHISPER COME HITHER, FLY! AND YOU ARE NOT HELPING!!

Ruby: Are there bedsheets draped across the keyboard, showing only the numbered keypad?

Ginger: I JUST WANTED YOU TO HELP ME FIX MY COMPUTER!!!

Fly: But this is so much more fun…even the passing grocery clerk stopped to listen…

Ginger: …..is it Gene? GENE, ARE YOU THERE??

Gene: ….uh….yes?

Fly: How did she—

Ruby: Do not ask questions you don’t want answered.

Ginger: GENE, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOCK THE SUGAR-FROSTED ZOMBIE BOMBS CEREAL AGAIN??? GENE, I KNOW YOU’RE LISTENING!!!

Ruby: He’s actually been walking away since he recognized your voice.

Ginger: What?? Ruby – follow him!!

Ruby: …ok, but the reception in this store is Super Awful. I might lose this call…

Fly: It is? I’ve never…OH! Yes. It’s………bad. We should let you chase Gene in person. And hang up. For now.

Ginger: ……..that sounds legit. I can call the store directly and have them patch me through to the store’s P.A. system.

Ruby: But first…I’m looking forward to those sensual screenshots…

Ginger: … I DIDN’T MEAN TO TYPE THAT!!!!!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s